It always seemed like a definite in my life. I still know what I’d want to name my kids if I had them. But to be honest I am so tired from my illness that I can barely keep up with just my life. When I go home I do not have the energy to spend time with my little sisters and it makes me sad. If I don’t have energy to play with them even just for an hour or so during the day there is no way I’ll have energy for having children of my own. And I would never want kids who I felt I couldn’t give all of my love and time to. So I am not sure anymore what I will choose to do.
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I’ve known since I was sixteen that I did not want kids. If I’m being honest, after becoming sz I would not want to risk passing it on to them. Good luck to those who do have kids, but my own life already breaks my heart.
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I always thought of having kids.
I am getting old now and have finally accepted my life without my own kids.
I have enough loved ones now to worry me and enjoy as it is also.
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When I was 10 years old I decided I did not want to have kids. I had so much anxiety I did not want my kids to go through the same pain.
I met my husband and I happened that we got two children. When they were 5 and 9 I got a major psychotic episode that lasted for 2 years.
I don’t have the same energy anymore. I need to rest a lot. I miss my old self. But people change after psychosis, I need to accept that. My family need to accept that.
My oldest boy is depressed, hears voices and has a lot of anxiety. He is a teenager now. He goes through the same ■■■■ I went through in my teens. But the big differance is I am there for him 24/7. He has meds to make him stable and to help with panic attacks and anxiety. I had nothing or nobody to talk to.
If you (maybe by accident, or not) have kids and they go through same pain as you, you will have a different understanding to their pain than someone who never experienced voices or anxiety or depression.
I understand your decision to not have kids. I decided that too. I was terrified when my kids were born. How can I take care of them. But somehow I managed with help from my husband.
My second child has not talked about voices or depression. He is popular and has a lot of friends and enjoys life.
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Same here Anna. I don’t spend as much time as I should with my little brother and it killed me when he slipped a drawing he made under my door on my birthday. It made me think about what if my child had to show their affection through drawings being shoved under the door because I isolate myself from them or don’t give them as much as I should.
My boyfriend and I, when we were starting to get serious, talked about having kids and we’d joke fight about the amount of kids we’d have. Recently though, we’ve been having pregnancy scares (entirely our faults and no excuses) and I told him that I changed my mind about having kids. I don’t wanna put my kids through a fraction of what I went through as someone with schizophrenia. I still dream about the daughter I supposedly “lost in my past life” and it hurts when I think about how I’ll never see her again (it would be impossible anyways since the daughter had blue eyes and both my boyfriend and I have brown eyes) but I wouldn’t want her to go through this.
If this latest pregnancy scare goes through (as in I am pregnant), I already know I’ll get an abortion because the timing couldn’t be worse (I would go into labor days before or after my boyfriend leaves the country) but I still dream about raising a little baby.
I might change my mind again about having kids in the future, when I get help and start takin meds, but for now I cannot put a child through the same thing I went through
I’ll probably never have kids, even if I wanted them.
that’s life though, I guess. 
Same here. When I was young I regarded middle class life as a fraud. I didn’t want that. Now I’m nearly 58 and childless. I can see how fulfilling it could be to have children, but I would be nearly 69 by the time they were ten.
It’s called adoption bruh
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my kids got all my good qualities
and none of my bad ones.
I worked hard at that, though.
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that’ll actually be pretty cool. you’re quite smart @Sooner88
it’ll be great to parent an orphan who needs help. 
Yeah but you have to lie and tell them you aren’t sick or they won’t give you a kid
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nah dude, I’m not going to lie. I won’t bring it up, if they don’t ask though. besides, if I prove that I’m mentally stable under certain medication or treatment, perhaps they can let me take care of a kid under certain circumstances and conditions. 
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Or you could go work at a daycare!!!
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really who decides who’s fit to be a parent,
boy if I ever thought that, I’m sure I wouldn’t have had kids.
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If you’re adopting, the government decides if you’re fit or not. Don’t act dumb.
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I’ve never wanted children myself. But I can see where you’re coming from @Anna. Having pretty much known that you will have kids one day and to now realise that you might not be able to handle it would feel really bad I imagine.
Just remember you wouldn’t be having them alone, you’d have a partner to help when your energy is low.
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If it’s not a deep desire of yours then you really shouldn’t. It’s an incredibly massive responsibility.
Having said that, I wouldn’t trade my son for anyone or anything. Giving birth, and watching him grow from little bundle to adulthood has been amazing. I wish with all my heart that he had not inherited sz. I wish I could’ve made everything perfect for him. But life is messy and the one truly beautiful and bright spot in it is my son. And he’s strong, has amazing coping skills, and makes the world a better place just by existing.
You won’t miss it if you don’t have kids because you’ll have other joys. And you won’t regret it if you do…
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I’d be pretty alarmed if I ever had a kid. I can’t even take care of myself.
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Its strange…sometimes I fantasize about having another one or two kids and I love to see big families but I’m very aware that I’m hardly managing to be a good parent to this one I have.
I’m actually amazed by women who have two or more kids and also work. Thats just…seems like a special power!
My friend has two kids, a full time job, and takes classes. I try my best not to compare myself to her, but it’s hard. She even has mental illness too.
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