Schizophrenia.com

Labor day rant

As you know I live with my aunt and uncle. For labor day they cooked tons of food and had all my cousins and their families over.
My medication is working well, but big groups of people, even family, make me extremely uncomfortable. Conversing with people doesn’t seem natural to me.
I stayed in my bedroom almost the entire time while everyone else played softball and football, ate and laughed, which upset my aunt that I didn’t join in. I just can’t and I wish she’d understand.
I just don’t get it. These aren’t my immediate family, but they are family. When I hang out with them I sit in the corner and stare at them, but don’t talk, like some weirdo.
I don’t know how to be normal with them.
Maybe because my immediate family were so different. Dirty jokes and beer were allowed. These people play softball and sit around talking about nothing.
My parents are dead and my siblings live far away, so I hide from this family. I wish to communicate and be normal with them, but I’m extremely uncomfortable. I can’t physically utter a word. I’m so uncomfortable I hide while they do “normal people” stuff.

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I’m somewhat of a recluse. I don’t socialize well and tend to isolate when the family comes over.

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My extended family is like this, too, and I’m often in tears in the runup to going to see them. I’m introverted anyway, and they are totally not, and I have so little in common with them. I always wish I could either by e some sparkly relaxed normal person around them, or I could go hide in my room.

The exception is my grandpa. Nothing makes me feel safer than curling up next to him with my head on his shoulder. It worked when I was a little child, and it still works today.

I’m sorry your aunt doesn’t get it. It sounds like there’s a lot your aunt doesn’t get. It’s so much easier when there’s someone looking out for you and helping you steal moments away to yourself to regroup. I’m sorry it was so awful and glad it’s over.

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My family terrifys me. Only because I think they can read my mind. And I like that ■■■■ private.

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I feel like they’re all staring at me, like, I’m some kind of show to be seen.

koala :koala: hug.
i would feel uncomfortable in that situation aswell !?!
go easy on yourself…you did the right thing by keeping your distance…if they don’t understand… too bad…their loss !!
know someone cares :heart:
take care :alien:

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We had family reunion last weekend and I talked with just about everybody and gave hugs I felt my actions were important for my son and my mother and didn’t want to let them down. We played whifle ball and yet I couldn’t really get the words out and stumbled a bit but no one cared. It was good food too!

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You sound like me on a bad day. You just need to trust them and break out of your shell. They are not all perfect socializers and a lot of them are probably faking it so why don’t you too? I just got back from my sisters. She had a barbeque for a couple of her friends, and me and my other sister and her husband. Hell, I don’t talk to hardly anyone but I talked more than her friends. Some of the time I was faking it but I genuinely wanted to socialize and I just acted friendly and said some crap at the right time. NO socializing is going to go perfect but most people are winging it too. Even if you just just sit there WITH them and don’t talk would be OK. They understand you’re shy. People are different at different times. My brother-in-law is pretty worldly but he’s crappy at socializing. I look at him sitting there not talking and I fill in the vacuum with my own talking. I don’t worry, he can take care of himself.

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