They keep saying NOBODIES PERFECT NOBODIES PERFECT and nobodies perfect!!!
Well it brought me back to 19 years old the first girl I ever hooked up with well this girl berated me with compliments. I’m pretty sure she would have married me if she could because recently I saw her viewing one of my profiles on a website and she threw herself at me 2 years ago after I messaged her on a dating site. Nice girl and all I just felt we didn’t have chemistry or it came too easily or something but once she called me, “perfect” and I said In group it was my imperfections that made me believe her. No ones perfect. But I believed. And people like to make assumptions. Like people thought I was spoiled because I had an ego at 19 when really I was just a delusional schizophrenic who had been called the word “perfect” by the first girl he ever slept with. And I was desperate to prove it too. I had a lot of trauma young and then when I heard I was supposedly “perfect” and other compliments I can’t repeat it really went to my head. This was really bad thing to happen. I wish I had never met this girl but I guess everything so far seems to have had happened for a reason. So who knows
i’m sure she didn’t mean to cause you hurt, perfect to her may mean imperfections as well but she may like your imperfections which makes her think perfect is not really perfect at all.
It sickens me. She looked me in the eyes and said seriously and softly “you’re perfect!” Like wtf. I wrote about in my book that I was “deep down intellectually dim and dull and very insecure”. But she called me perfect
For a while I felt she wanted to put a spell on me. That she wanted me to choose between being with her and if I couldn’t be with her I couldn’t be with anyone else. She said later on I told her I felt I was narcissistic she said “you were never narcissistic you just seemed sick and were acting weird”. All those years I was obsessed with my “apparent narcissism”.
She was trying to keep me and flatter me I guess. Not ruin my mind. But at this young age it was really bad for me. Honestly I’m very flattered by this girl. Even though she did a lot of destruction. Still am flattered. I just feel it’s good to talk about your problems out loud. It’s therapeutic . Between Iop and this board I’ve dhared a lot of traumas and shortcomings today and it’s been good.
I always wondered how hard it would be to be a sharecropper. They must work their asses off for peanuts. Peanuts. Do sharecroppers grow peanuts? Whoops, now this is starting to sound slightly suggestive.
Most importantly to all. Because even though she told me I was perfect and believed it I was still chasing something. The next girl I met less than a month later and I thought I loved her at first sight. I never thought I was good enough for despite having this ego boost from the first gal.
