I really feel very misunderstood often. At my job and all. I feel like people don’t understand me. There’s a girl who works there and she doesn’t fully understand me but she’s nice about it. I said to my friend “she probably thinks I’m mysterious”. He said “well you are mysterious”. I’m like huh. I tell that kid everything. But he thinks I’m mysterious?? I can’t imagine what the normies think.
But like I don’t get the normies I don’t think they get me either!
This 2 attractive girls came in. 1 of them was literally just beautiful but I was attracted to the other one also. And the other one gave me the weirdest fn look in the world. Maybe she thought I wasn’t working or something I’m not even sure. But it was like the look of a tiger growling at a predator right when she saw me. And then I was feeling really upset the time They were in there. But then she was leaving as I was going to do a delivery and she was like holding the door for me when I was originally gonna hold it for her but I had my hands full and then she was super nice and maybe she didn’t mean to make me feel bad. But it does make me feel bad. I don’t really understand these interactions ever. Why would she give me a weird look like that.
And then I start analyzing all these scenarios in my head. And it just drives me nuts. And I feel very invested in schizo. Like once you go full schizo, you can’t go back. And I never wanted to be outcasted from society. I looked for answers through recovery and mentally ill friends because I figured they knew the most for what would best serve me. But now I feel I don’t fit in one bit. O well. Idk.
