Went to the beach with my mom and my aunt and moms friend. I got a little tan. It felt good talking to a woman im not related to for ONCE even if she’s 60 years old and not any chance of gf or sexual anything. I made her laugh a lot and added my insights to the conversation. I am much better communicating than my dad even though he’s 2 1/2 times my age. Sometimes I get mad that my dad was married when he was my age yet I’m not boring and zero communication skills and straight up mean like him yet I’ve never had a gf really and I’m 27. It’s the illness. Well my dad had a good job and didn’t have mental illness which I guess is important. But it’s barely the schizoaffective for me. It’s the ptsd. The ptsd creates anxiety which allows me to not do anything which in turn causes depression. But around this woman today all the depression was lifted because I had what I wanted and didn’t feel too traumatized to go seek it. It’s flawless principle that female companionship or lack thereof is the root of all my damn problems. It drives me crazy and depressed and the fact that I enjoyed myself in the precense of a female reasserts my theory… well I start therapy for my trauma in less than 2 days which im excited about. Am I really that ugly that in 27 years I shouldn’t have any real opportunities with women?? Like you would think one women, I would get lucky and she would approach me but nah. In 27 years (maybe I’m exaggerating because I was good with the ladies when I was ten but) I’ve been a ghost for most those years. I’m not saying I’m the greatest looking guy in the world but to go along with not being absolutely hideous and having other things going for me I should have at least had the opportunity of talking to a woman the past 8 years or so. I guess the schizoaffective does play a factor, but for me it’s more the ptsd. I am slightly paranoid a lot tho. But sorry for the rant. I am feeling a bit better though from the good day and experience but I know it won’t last but I will try to ride the momentum the best I could!!!
Sounds like a different you after the med change!
Glad you had a nice day. You are stressing too much about a girlfriend.
Get healthy/happy first you know and then it just happens automatically :o)
It has nothing to do with a woman in my opinion, maybe you are trying to find an escape of some sort.
you are 27, men right now marry over 38 usually, forget your dad’s generation 
And btw, I told my friend I didn’t wanna smoke weed cuz I’m trying to be sober he says “if you’re doing ptsd therapy then they’re gonna recommend medicinal weed to you”. I’m like nahhhhh. I don’t get how weed helps ptsd when it makes my anxiety so much worse while I’m stoned. And I just go up in my shell and isolate and don’t leave the house. I don’t want medical marijuana. If she recommends it I’m gonna say it hurts not helps.
I’m stressing now but I didn’t stress the past year and nothing happened.
you were not ill last year?
Hard me for to say really whether I was ill or not. But I wasn’t fixated on finding a gf all last year and had no success is what I’m saying. It shouldn’t be this hard… the fact that I hung out with a woman today will hopefully give me a boost, the new therapist will hopefully help…talking to her. After all when I’m with women my depression is gone. But it’s hard with ptsd. Impossible to approach ppl. I definitely had the ptsd last year. I’ve had it a long ass time untreated.
I guess you’re one of those guys who don’t enjoy the high of marijuana like me. Some guys just love it. They can’t get enough. My drug of choice was alcohol. I think that is what kept the girls away from me. I was always insanely drunk.