That sounds intimidating.
My psychologist and doc talked and my doctor gave me some pills called Abilify, but, like…
I dunno if I’m ready for that. I’m still gripped by these feelings of unreality and fears that people are trying to get me because I know that this isn’t real… What if my psychologist is working with them? What if they just want to sedate me so I don’t let others know the truth and what’s behind all this?
Some days, I’m very mad at her and refuse to talk and instead watch every entrance or window to her room, other days I don’t care and want to be sedated. It’d be easier. I can’t win against so many powerful enemies, especially because they’ve gotten everybody I know on their side…
And even if I do transcend and get to the real world, I’ll be the only one there because nobody will listen or believe me about this…
I dunno, I need some place to discuss these feelings with people who might understand, and to vent in a judgement-free place.
Welcome to the forum. I too have schizoaffective disorder (bipolar-type). You’re right, it is an intimidating diagnosis, tough to accept. I am 100% confident that your psychologist and dr are not conspiring against you, but rather I am certain that they are doing all they can to help you. I’ve been there, though. I hope the Abilify works for you, it has been a good drug for me.
I had feelings that my family was out to get me. It was really terrible and it jeopardized my relationship with them. I had to go to the hospital too. They gave me medication and I took it regularly. I have Schizophrenia and I no longer feel like people are out to get me.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to accept that you are ill and that it’s okay to be ill. When you keep at the medication that they give you, you will most likely find peace. The medication is really helpful.
What makes it harder is the people who I felt I could trust enough to tell either don’t get it or say it sounds like a movie (legit, my best friend said “Wow, sounds so cool, like the Matrix!” to try to ease the tension in the air. Didn’t really work.)
It makes me slightly soothed to know that this drug has worked for another person who has had the experience, thank you.
I had a similar situation with my ex and my friends, I kept having thoughts that I should stab my boyfriend and poison my friends, that they were working with someone… Had to break off contact for fear of doing something violent or illegal, glad I had the good sense to do that and only have about two friends now…
Thank you for your support and it’s nice to know that somebody has had similar experiences and has benefitted from taking medication… It helps to a degree. Thanks.
Do you mind telling me which strength of Abilify you are taking? When I was on the oral tablets I took 15 mg and it worked great. I get an injectable form now, since my dr could no longer get free samples of the tablets, but I think the oral form worked better for me. I’m on the high strength shot, which is supposed to be equivalent to 20 mg/day of oral. I get it every three weeks, though, instead of every 4 weeks like it’s usually given. Every drug is different for every person, though. Some people on this forum hate Abilify and are ok with Seroquel, while I do well on Abilify and couldn’t tolerate Seroquel.
Yeah, he wants to work you up slowly, makes sense. The 5 mg tablet is usually for people with depression, to boost the effects of their antidepressant; usually 10 mg is the minimum to treat psychosis. Hopefully you’ll see more benefit as the dose is increased, but I get why your dr would want to do it this way. Just hang in there; sometimes you just have to be patient with the process.
I suppose there’s some chance, I’m just saying don’t be surprised if he ups the dose. I work in a pharmacy, and we have a patient who takes 30 mg/day. That’s extremely high, though.
I was doing some reading just now, many sources said they usually prescribe a mood stabilizer too… If i can’t handle one prescription very well, what’ll happen with two? ahah… but thanks so much for your support and your feedback and help
When I was diagnosed as schizophrenic in the hospital I was still hearing voices (my exes voice) and still believed that they were real, told the doctors I couldn’t hear them because the voices were telling me to tell them that, so they released me from the hospital… They had me on 9mg to start with, now I’m 4.5mg, might even go lower. I’m not on abilify, it’s called invega. Even after I started seeing a therapist, a month or so after my break I was weary of it but you just gotta put your trust in there hands. Let go.
It helps to a degree. Thanks.
