I came across this guy recently, I was talking to him, we talked for hours on end on the phone. I should not have but I brought up I had a fling three months back. He hated the fact I did it. So he told me it made him feel uncertain. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with him. Yesterday I gave him a piece of my mind. WTF. It’s one rule for a guy , he can have sex whenever, but a girl can’t . Then he went on about how he’s not like other guys. How he’d wait for the girl till marriage. WTH , most guys were happy to take my vergiinity he is exactly the same. He didn’t wait for marriage himself why expect a girl to… He just don’t want me cos I slept with someone. I like him and that hurt so badly. But he just won’t let me go and I can’t either.
For me (I’m a guy) some things I rather not talk about when just getting to know each other, and typically, girls I date seem to think about these things about the same, fortunately. So while it is not bad IMO to have had partners before, I do find it a bit uncomfortable to extensively talk about her past partners when I am just getting to know a girl. I don’t bring up my own that much either in that stage. Later on, I feel more comfortable with this. Some people on the other hand are very open about such things from the start, might even pride themselves for that - idk, just doesn’t work like that for me. To me getting to know another is a bit of a game of give and take. If one throws everything on the table immediately, that can be both slightly intimidating as well as taking away the fun of the whole thing.
I doubt it.
Every-bodies different. The guy has his beliefs and that’s the way it is. I doubt that you’re through dating anyone.
Personally, I haven’t had a lot of sex but I like a women with experience, someone who knows the ropes. The idiosyncrasies of human sexual behaviors is infinite and varies from person to person. If you think that being with this guy is going nowhere than end it. You’re not going to change him so drop him. Guys are a dime a dozen.
You are hot, you can pick and choose the guys you want. Go ahead and play the field, that’s your privilege. This the year 2016. It’s not the 1950’s when everybody expects you to be a good girl and to be prim and proper.
Boy have boy germs and girls have girl germs. Nothing changes Ish.
Corny but true.
There is a double standard when it comes to sex and gender. Guys are commended for having sex while girls are sometimes scorned. It’s an archaic value that we need to get rid of. Having sex does not make women slutty or less-than any more than it does for men. Don’t waste your time on this guy, he is obviously not the kind of guy you deserve.
Could be the guy thought he couldn’t stack up against his rival for your affection.
I gave up about 25 -30 years ago, yup last fling I had was back then, I’m such a sl__ 
. I would not care if a woman had a fling 3 months prior, only if would be if it was with someone you were still hanging out and close with. That being said I think Men and Women are more equal than they care to admit.
In my drinking days I dated a lot, Most of the women I was with were into the same things, doing the same thing, but I did notice most back then tried very hard not to let anyone know they had a fling, but they still did it. I never thought less of them for it, In later life and sober, it did put me on guard though and had little interest in any that were still living that lifestyle. Again I never thought less of them, the few I crossed paths with were nice people, successful etc, just not what I was looking for. I wanted someone who was focused on finding someone to share their life, and the flings were out of their system if that makes sense. Should mention Aids was just starting to show up back then.
For me I did so many flings was so tired of it, so when I met a gal that was showing signs of that lifestyle, it sent me running in the other direction. Been there, done that, sort of thing. Yes I do understand many do not think that way.
sounds like an ok guy but you dont think he is genuine and only wants you for sex,
I strongly disagree.
I agree with that… but I can’t tell from the OP if this is why the guy became uncertain. I took that as insecure. Which I could understand. It can for some people be intmidating or awkward to be confronted with someone else’s sexlife early on in getting to know each other. Ofcourse, one could say: why become insecure. I don;t think insecurity is a choice most of the time.
I read the OP again and I guess it can be understood in two different ways. Either he hated talking about the fling and that made him uncertain or he hated the fact that she had a fling and that’s what made him uncertain. Maybe Ish can clarify?
i thought maybe he knew she was a virgin and then found out she wasnt then he was kind of disappointed because he wanted to be that person
I think “he hated the fact I did it” implies he’s more than just a little disappointed. If it’s that important for him that she’s a virgin then he’s not a keeper. It implies some seriously outdated values.
Yeah I agree with that… Personally I don’t really care what someone did before me, I just don’t want to know everything immediately.
i would be disappointed if someone said that they were a virgin and was interested in me and then a little later they have had sex with some random guy, its not very nice and then to tell him about it
just find someone… get married and have some kids.
my new other motto.
When my wife and I got married, we’d both been with other people and neither of us were virgins. We’d also tried to learn about what went wrong in previous relationships, so we maintained separate homes and beds until after we were married. “Don’t buy the cot until you’ve tied the knot.” We were both happy with that decision.
The only uncomfortable moment came in the pre-marital counseling we had to attend where the facilitator was operating off the assumption that every couple was bedded together (we were the only exception), so we spend the weekend being singled out and treated like religious freaks (we’re both agnostic). The minister who sent us there wasn’t happy when we reported back.
So he said he’d wait for the girl until marriage that’s how good a guy he is. Said he’d rather I have lost it with him than anyone else because he’s so amazing. So why the hell he didn’t wait to lose it himself. Really such a good day. Such a shame I have no idea why i liked him
You ever think you are a bit delusional typically anyone wants marriage but the need to have a sexual connection in this world is great we see it on television, hear it in media, sex is advertised everywhere you can’t shame a person for not being with you first… ■■■■■■■ cray cray
Lol he is an ■■■■■■■