Ive decided my past actions in life cant be forgiven

I’ve done lots of stuff that I’m not proud of, and some things that need forgiveness. But as I don’t believe in any forgiving supernatural force I’ve simply realised that these actions will never be forgiven. In fact they can’t be forgiven.

This is a weight off my shoulders. So I’m just going to suck it up and move on.

I actually felt a little bit like an adult after realising this.

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In my opinion, it’s more like allowing yourself to make mistakes and learn from them. I don’t believe in the supernatural either, so I seek “forgiveness” from myself. I have realized I’ve done some rotten things myself, but so does almost everybody. We can’t define ourselves based on a score sheet of good/bad things. If you can feel comfortable with who you are as a person, you’re more ahead of the game than most.

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If i was forced to choose one thing that is unforgivable, its dying an old man never having lived

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You don’t need to be forgiven.

Just know that you are right and they were wrong.

They don’t matter.

I’m not big on forgiveness. Sure, little things can be forgiven but some things can’t and never will be forgiven. I’ve done things I can never forgive myself for doing. That’s just the way it is.

I’m with you. After digging into the topic for the past 32 years – since I began to take AA seriously, and do those 12 Steps they have – I can see that it’s more about…

  1. observing to recognize to acknowledge to accept to own to understand and appreciate why I did what I did (so that I can better see it coming in the future), and…

  2. developing the skills to reduce, prevent or maybe even eliminate my dysfunctional behaviors.

My route to this was via the psychotherapies listed below (and pretty much in that chronological order of participation). Others may have other ways of getting there.

AA’s 12 Steps – http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/smf-121_en.pdf
REBT – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rational_emotive_behavior_therapy
Schematherapy – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schema_Therapy
Learned Optimism – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_optimism
Standard CBT – https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Treatment/Psychotherapy & scroll down
DBT – http://behavioraltech.org/resources/whatisdbt.cfm
MBSR – http://www.mindfullivingprograms.com/whatMBSR.php
MBCT - http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22340145
ACT – https://contextualscience.org/act
10 StEP – http://pairadocks.blogspot.com/2015/04/the-10-steps-of-emotion-processing.html
MBBT – https://www.newharbinger.com/blog/introduction-mind-body-bridging-i-system
SEPT – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somatic_Experiencing
SMPT – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensorimotor_psychotherapy

If there’s no force to grant forgiveness then how does the concept of forgiveness even exist as a law of physics? And if forgiveness doesn’t exist then there’s no reason to feel regret over one’s actions honestly. Sometimes things we did that we’re not proud of were actually out of our control or we didn’t have a choice. I personally see no reason to ever regret those instances especially if it was because of a medical illness.

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I try to leave the Karma good…Do unto others stuff…

I have mistakes too. There could be some people who just would not want to talk to me, I accept this and respect it. Some are told to stop talking to schizos who had the voices for a long time, is considered personality flaw that we did not go to a church to make it stop and sin of stealing by some for using disability benefits. These people are sometimes episodically psychotic as they hear the voices in the company of some people who are probably psychotic themselves, actually these sometimes follow orders from the voices to mistreat a person so is reason they are psychotic…But do not want to get into whatevers about whomever as it is all just about how bad a joke you can give another victim of the voices to entertain rich sickos. I think we HAVE to honor these requests for no contact so these can have a remission…But normals always honor request for no contact out of self respect and avoid humiliating scene…

If you can accept you can change your behavior. You accept some people will not want to talk to you and you are okay with this…I do not think the past actions to be such a heavy burden, which is where the Christ and forgiveness of sins enters in. You understand your old behavior was inexcusable and want to change, treat everyone right and take the negative from some people with GRACE (no backtalk, just leave), I think you will find this YOLK a might lighter weight than going around hurting people…But, I question as I see the churches here crank out so many wackos and thought broadcasting hate people who will mess up their own family for using mental care, screw coworkers/employer/customers. Some church’s interpretations and behavior of some of their sickest are big burden, if you leave complaining you may be harmed or go broke…Choose the ‘religious’ group with which you want to affiliate yourself, anti-christ fakes or stick with the good people, watching as community goes bad and horrible stuff happens/cops get dirtier and you think about moving so you don’t have to go over to the Anti-christ church to work/do business to accept the Sign of the Beast & mistreat others too.

YOLK, God, individual churches, intentions, sometimes are considered to go into God’s wrath mode instead of belevolence, good people all the time you will come to question under paranoia act some put on for us.

I see religious influence the most helpful if personal studied and just watch for the like people, hold them close and bond there if willing, learn from the gossip so you can choose the other people to avoid.

I will admit that being an atheist and nihilist I’m at a severe disadvantage compared to religious adherents having an idea of a loving omnipotent force helping them in everything to give them more strength than they would have otherwise that I have to find in myself due to my belief system or lack thereof, even if I think their deity is just an imaginary friend.

The important thing here is to learn how to let things go. I don’t think I’m ever going to forgive myself on a number of things I did to myself and others, but the truth is I just need to let it go and not let it mess up what good I can accomplish now.

Don’t sweat it so much @everhopeful, we all have things we regret, specially with psychosis that is not our fault, never forget that.

You’re a good person.

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Maybe this will help

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I would not be alive without “my imaginary friend”. God is real and remains real whether all or no humans believe. He is the creator, not us. I’m honestly not offended and am not trying to preach, though, and I actually respect your choice. My son feels the same way. But my whole world, my existence, purpose, and future lies in God’s existence and care for us. When you get into the details, my sz plays a huge role and I understand that, but the basic beliefs are my faith.

That’s basically what I was saying that I am at a disadvantage compared to you because I can’t believe some intelligent being with total control over reality who loves me exists like you believe to give me a sense of security about everything.

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Have you really looked into it deeply, or did you just write God off? One of my favorite writers is CS Lewis who was an atheist until, I think, his mid twenties?..Anyway, he wrote some great books about his experience of not believing and then really researching and trying to make sense…and he became a believer. I don’t know how anyone lives on this planet, let alone with sz, without faith in God. And I’m saying that I really can’t imagine. :heart:

I can’t allow myself to just start believing things with no supporting evidence because I would be way worse off with schizophrenia with the kinds of delusions I have that pop into my head daily or how bad I’ve hallucinated sometimes.

I will admit however the more I think about the idea of the big bang and God the more the line of distinction gets blurred between them because the state of the void before the universe was born and the circumstances of it being born in the big bang has pretty much the same qualities as what’s attributed to God. I guess that should come as no surprise since it was a CATHOLIC PRIEST who made the big bang theory.

It’s like, I don’t need to believe in stories to make myself feel better for being here.

I grant you that there’s gotta be something that created all this, is too perfect, but at the same time I think that that’s a human mindset, we have oposable thumbs and brains that give us the possibility to create, so we think this had to be created as well. So someone made up stories about that, and people believe it because they don’t have much else, or social conditioning or just plain delusional thinking.

I’m not saying I need hard evidence, I’m saying I don’t actually need to know.

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“I’m saying I don’t actually need to know.”

Ditto.

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I respect your caution. That’s why I recommend researching, like CS Lewis did. But I am not trying to push, and I never want to be a part of anyone’s pain. I wish you well :heart:

It’s like, I don’t need to believe in stories to make myself feel better for being here.
I do :blush:

Sure, I was just trying to explain the other side.

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