It's hard to be lonely, not having a life and being sick

I really don’t know what else to say…I see my life passing with only negatives, and when I see other people happy, there comes to me a nostalgia, I can’t exactly describe it, maybe some of you have felt it or are still feeling it, of how my life would be if I was normal and had my personal life…I really am depressed most of the time, I can’t feel joy except for very rarely and generally my mind is in a mess. I don’t know where else to talk about it, since I 've told my therapist about this and he doesn’t seem to help me, he only blames me for not having friends and he tells me how to behave better, which is not the matter here, anyway, and there is nothing I can do about it! Perhaps if I went to the gym it would be a bit different and if I lost some pounds first, but I have no motivation!


Life with sz… It sucks.

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Mostly @SoitGoes, it sucks to see other people making their lives and not giving a damn about you and see them talk, be happy, have a normal life and we only suffer everyday by feeling lonely and by the stigma and all these stuff, it’s a torture!

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Hang in there rose - hope you feel better soon!

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Thanks, @Wave. It’s just that I have had the illness since I was very young and I don’t see any progress in my life, it’s as if I 'm dead. I breath, that’s a good thing about my life, but mostly I hate it…anyways, sorry for the nag, but I don’t know where else to say this. Why is life so unfair?

Maybe a medication adjustment could help?
Its worth giving a shot, if you are still suffering - I would talk things through with your pdoc and see what your options are.
Its worth a try

It’s not about medication, @Wave. I have tried many meds and now I found the most appropriate combination, and I am on a high dose. It’s about life, I see others progressing and having their personal lives, whilst I don’t have anything of these…When I say sick I mean more about the stigma, because I don’t feel anymore sick etc. I speak for other people that are in my place as well, it’s not only for me…

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I’m struggling with this also… Wonderer if its this (was something my therapist said to me once) sometimes we can just try to do too much ie try to change too much at one time that we just go no where. Often it just leaves us despondent. Comes down to trying to get the basics ie baby steps to change…

Mindful moments like taking some time out and buying yourself some flowers, going for a walk in the park, sitting under a tree and reading etc. These are things we tend to neglect. Which reduces stress which indirectly helps us explore a bit more and find what brings us joy. Indirectly as our minds are less focused on our problems so what we want to explore comes to mind.

Exercise doesn’t have to be much. Just a long walk each day can help. It’s a place to start at any rate. Anything that gets the heart pumping is good. Walking helps us collect our thoughts the best when struggling with symptoms also. Any exercise in general burns off the excess toxins in our body which in turn helps to stave off depression.

An off-line support group might help with socializing. One less stress as they all ready know your struggling with a mental illness. I had made some good friends through the last one I tried. We do need to talk face to face rather then type sometimes.

Ultimately take your time if you want to try or change a few things around. It’s like going up a very steep mountain but you will come down the other side a lot faster.

I’m still working on finding joy. About what I know is… Happiness is internal. Meaning you can’t rely on others to make you happy because you will just be very disappointed. Things like having a partner is not going to make all your problems just magically go away.

Take your time and find yourself and what makes you happy. I know how hard that is suffering from depression also. You’re not alone on that. Be mindful and take time out. Start being good to the most important person in your life and that is you.


I am concerned. Perhaps, you need to find a new therapist who is more supportive of you, redrose. You did not to be blaimed either for anything at all; especially what you can’t control because of this illness that many refuse to understand. It is not your fault!!! You may need to fire your therapist. I have been sick since childhood also. Some days are good and some days are bad. Many days I look at the world and other people like my mother like it is some sort of harsh steel wool wishing to clean what is horrible out of me because I never measure up to their incredibly high, impossible standards. I have looked to alternative spiritual paths for sustenance as I question is there no place in the world for a person like me. Lately, I am learning of goddess spirituality. It may not be for you at all. That is fine. Yet, I question by quelling the feminine within us; male or female have we let this loose this torrent of war, intrusive technology and economics, and sickness including mental illness and its rise. This is just me-what I was thinking. Sometimes, the world has been so cruel and abusive to me; I contemplate if there is an alternative. All I want to be is to be me! Is that all you want to be, also; YOU? Today may seem dark to you; but, the sun always comes out. Like others have suggested, take baby steps-maybe a short walk, a shower, sitting in the outdoors soaking up Mother Nature. You, in your heart, know what will make you feel better. You are in my thoughts today. Things will get better! Don’t be so difficult with yourself. I will check back with you. Take care of yourself.

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Thanks, @Dreamscape, if there really were any solutions I would have solved my problems, but I can’t exercise too hard because I get my appetite increased, where I live there are no support groups! About the partner you said, as I can see, people who have a partner are a lot happier than me! That happened to me also, when I had a partner although I might had had many problems, at least I had a life and I felt a little happy, but that ended unexpectedly, that’s why I say there is no progress in my life. I don’t want to tire you anymore, perhaps I wanted to nag a little as there is no solution to my problems as I said, unless I find a bf and loose some pounds, but these two seem like a dream to me right now. This is not my worst period of my life, but still, as I said I see life passing by and I am just an observer and that hurts…

So what’s your excuse for not buying yourself some flowers? Do yourself a favour and buy yourself a nice bunch of your favourite flowers.


Dear @Greykitten, thank you so much for your answer! I think you are right about my doctor, but my parents don’t let me quit him! They always tell me what to do! I 'm sick of them. I 'm sorry for these standars they expect from you. I expect much from others too, because I give too much! The world has been so cruel and abusive to me, too!!! So, I understand you. I also want to be myself, but I feel they don’t let me!!! You are right that I know what will make me feel better! It’s just that others give us “advice” and try to persuade us what they think is right, is right! Thanks again for your wishes…

Dear @Dreamscape, I find a bunch of flowers very expensive, because we have money to buy only the essentials! I don’t have money in my bag, we are poor as most people in my country!! And I don’t know what to do with my therapist, it helps me to know there is someone to listen to my complaints, but as I said he doesn’t really help me.

It’s a one off expenditure. An investment really. We all need to throw caution to the wind and splurge every know and then. If not flowers something just for you. Spoil yourself a bit.

As for the tdoc you can only get so much out of each therapist. In a perfect world they would tell you it’s time to move on to someone else. Unfortunately…It’s no perfect world. Something to think about anyway.

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Dear @Dreamscape, thank you for your help and caring for me. It really helps me to see there are good people in this cruel and abusive world as Greykitten says. That’s the most important thing in life, to be around good people. Anyways, I know I need to spoil myself and I would really like a bunch of flowers, but we are out of money, because I pay too much to the doctor-therapist. I wish everyone of you that answered my thread are well and always be around kind people, and not people who judge you, because these two I want for me also. Take care!

How can you afford Therapy?

There are many free clinics around which have many of the qualified people that you may want or need to see. In a lot of cases you may all ready been referred… The family doctor is usually the best place to start if you just think you may have a mental illness. But remember the family doctor only has some experience and a little education on mental health so ask for referrals.

Most churches offer free counseling these days. Recently in the clinic, I see my Psychiatrist on the wall in the waiting room a poster free psychologist sessions with the YMCA…Public libraries often have info like the YMCA free sessions. Your local town\city hall may have info too. It’s not so much a problem here in OZ in my neck of the woods but do be WARY of cults when looking at alternative treatments.

An Occupational Therapist (OT)
organized for me to do odd jobs around the property of one of my Psychotherapists In exchange for therapy from him.

The last one I saw was open to other ways of payment as well. I organized that myself.

Being a family member of a Vietnam vet in Australia! I’m eligible for free psychologist sessions… I begged and pleaded for a year I wanted to see a psychotherapist I did for about 5 years free…I’m sorry he got old and had to move on to retirement part of why he was fired from the service…

Grow is an Australian program that has hit foreign shores and growing. Its mind over matter an adaptation of the AA (alcohol anonymous) 12 step program to all mental illness and it’s free!!! What does it hurt to email them and ask if it coming to your area?

A practice patient for a trainee psychologist. All while being supervised by a more qualified person is another option for free therapy. I know it sounds a bit scary but these people are more than qualified to help just lack field work. If anything, a Uni student is likely to more down to earth. More understanding that you have no idea where your next meal might be coming from, than an overpaid, underworked, very old therapist.

There are other ways of getting help then money changing hands. Ask beg plead think creatively…

Same goes for the flowers. Although not sure what your laws are like for picking wild flowers. .


I have had to work very hard to “divorce” myself from my mother and my therapy; etc. She pays for all my medical bills; including prescription and over the counter medication; except Tylenol for my headaches. Mostly, this is so she can take it off her income tax. So, on her part it is truly selfish! I do not allow her to know anything about my treatment or diagnosis. I do not tell that I have called my therapist because I am having a hard time. A lot of the times, she is the reason I call the therapist for crisis. I only told her one thing; that I was to get a new prescriber for my meds. The one I just had and saw once; left the clinic. I don’t know what to tell you about how you can “divorce” yourself from your parents’ intrusion into your mental health. I apologize as I have no answers. There must be something you can do. Your health and well-being are at stake here. I shall think on this and if I do have a possible answer that might work for you I will let you know. Just do something for yourself today-something that will make you smile! Take care. You are such a very worthwhile person. You only deserve the very best in life. Don’t give up ever!

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Hi, Dreamscape, I am not from the US and here we don’t have such kind of facilities, and I couldn’t understand your whole text 'cos I 'm not well right now, I hope someone else will get help of these. I am sorry, I am very sorry right now, I wish I was dead, but I don’t have such freedom, if I try to commit suicide I 'll end up in a clinic. I just found what my problem is, but I don’t want to write it publicly, anyway, have a good day and be well.

Thanks, @Greykitten, if you want, I can tell you in a pm what I am going through. It seems that no one understands. We have the illness and apart from that, we have to face the evil society including our parents. I went to my therapist and I importuned him because he wouldn’t understand 100% what I am going through. He tried really hard to help me though, although he said that only a psychotic person could understand how I feel.

I totally understand how you feel @redrose if it weren’t for the love of my girlfriend and her dogs I would be lost…my woes are generally money related. I have to buy a new smartphone next month and it’s adding to my depression, sure it will swell to have a new phone, but it’s the wrong month to get one with money being tight. Hopefully my girlfriend will get another job soon.

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