Lot of games, lot of psychological stuff. I already figured out a year or more ago that the crazy old hag next door wants to destroy me. But my brain is failing me. I always had a strong mind. I survived two solid years of psychosis pretty much intact, my mind survived 4 years of crack addiction and came out fine, and then I carved a little respect out of some people for giving back a little of the crap that was thrown at me.
But I think the problem is I tried too hard. After years of being the scapegoat and people assuming I won’t fight back I scared some soldiers who really deserved it and the maniacs who drive California freeways. But I got carried away and now my brain is prematurely tired and if it wasn’t, I could be handling the craziness my neighbors sometimes dish out way better. Yeah, I overextended myself.
Right now it’s quiet, I really enjoy my apartment when no ones bugging me.
Unfortunately, I alienated all my neighbors in every direction. It’s the first time in my life it’s been like this. It’s not something I planned for but now I have to deal with it. I honestly can’t tell if they’re bugging me. I’ll explain it like this (and I’ve said this before), most of the time, the only way I know someone is bugging me is when it stops. I’ll be perfectly happy sitting at my computer not bugging anyone and I’ll suddenly become aware of pressure and craziness focused on me. I try to fight it but they don’t stop until I give up and then they stop. I don’t know how to describe “pressure”, it’s just they’re messing with me and I feel it. Everybody here is mentally ill and weird stuff happens.
Ah, IDK anymore. Another fine mess you’ve gotten me into Stanley.