i know this is a mental health website, but i thought i’d lounge on this topic.
i’m curious about the reasons someone might disagree with that world view of the thread title. i also understand that while there will be folks who disagree with my thread title, i still am trying to get a sense if the title is still the consensus, that women are too picky. it seems the truth is that men need to step it up and be better quality prospects, but that there’s also truth in that women are just too picky and should keep their standards more realistic. if you want to call that lowering their standards, call it that, sure.
i know the following is stuff you hear from incels, but i thought i’d echo the conventional wisdom i’m picking up from men. it’s not just bitter and jaded incels sayin this stuff:
“Women are too picky: the majority of swipes with online dating from women, go to the top ten percent of men. the average woman thinks 80 percent of men are below average looking, while the average man thinks only 50 percent of women are below average. women are known to often engage in hypergamy, where the man must have similar or better education and income. men generally dont care about that much, and sometimes being better in that regard than the man is a red flag to the man. the conventional wisdom is that 80 percent of women are chasing the top 20 percent of men. if you are an average man, you dont get very many mutual ‘likes’ on dating apps, but the average women gets swamped with matches. they say the average woman lacks quality matches, but the average man lacks quality and quantity of matches. it’s common for women to go for years with no relationship, not because she can’t find a date, but because she’s too picky. the average woman gets swamped with men pursuing them. i realize not every option is decent, but it’s the case that there’s gotta be something decent if they tried even just a little. the stats, are that for men under 30, 60 percent are single, while only 30 percent of those women are single.in general, in the next ten years, it’s predicted that getting close to half of people will be single. it’s a cultural phenomenon regarding our rugged indivuduality… but the main reason is that women are just too picky.”
I’m picky and I’d rather be picky than spend my life with someone I don’t like/get along with. Why would I do that to myself. Men can be picky. so can women.
I also think the dating app algorithms use facial attractiveness ratings akin to Tencents facial recognition or whatever they use on tiktok
plus Premium accounts get high ‘SEO’ let’s call it that
gold accounts get pushed to the front of the queue and get more visibility. I gave tinder my money before…won’t be doing that again.
Dating apps suck. Best to find someone irl. i admit it’s tough to talk to strangers. No way would I dare approach a woman in say a gym unless I saw her regularly and spoke to her on a few occasions prior.
Consensus means everyone agrees. If at least one person has a divergent opinion, it breaks the consensus.
Regarding the topic at hand, imho both men and women can be picky. A guy once told me he would bed almost any woman but would only marry a wealthy one. That’s objectification at its worst. Men can be d*cks.
In my experience with online dating, women who want to settle are looking for men with a mature approach on life: steady job, mindful of their health and yes - good looks matter too, why wouldn’t they? Women who want to have fun will pick funny, optimistic men who know how to treat a lady.
Online identity/persona can often be misleading. I can lie, I can enhance my photos, but eventually, after meeting the other person face to face, all masks will come off.
