Issues with Sex

Ok time to be mature, guys (not that I think anyone on here wouldn’t be). As you might have noticed, sexuality is a sore subject for myself. I’ve been thinking about it today and how my attitudes on it changed.

Back when I was a little kid I experimented all the time, played “doctor” and all those dumb things. Then when I hit middle school I just assumed I’d have sex in hs, which is what every media source told me, so I just accepted this and didn’t really think of it as any sort of issue. When I got to hs, they had an abstinence speaker come in (because it was the south, lol) and it was the first time I’d heard about saving yourself for someone special. I liked the idea, and decided I would save sex for someone who I really loved and cared about, instead of just doing it casually.

Then the whole weird demon attacks happened…so that was a thing. Psychosis was really bad during hs…grades dropped, etc. So during this “demon-era” in my life, while the attacks were going on I lost ALL interest I had in sex with anyone and it was now a subject that outright TERRIFIED me. I was filthy and disgusting and ashamed.

After I moved, I became aware of my psychosis and learned to control and manage it. The demon attacks also stopped. Then I went through the whole “overcoming my addiction to demon sex” ordeal since the attacks didn’t happen anymore, which was not fun, and I did not sleep well at night.

But after the passing of several months I broke the worst of the addiction. I’d never stopped wanting it again…but at least it didn’t keep me up at night anymore. I began to work on my recovery process. I got a boyfriend. I tried to ease myself back into the water with sexual things. First it was fine. Kissing? Totally ok! I was even fine with some petting.

It was when things moved to lower areas that I just started…freezing. Suddenly all my interest would vanish. The mood would be destroyed for me. I had no desire to touch him in that way, and no desire for him to touch me like that. He would comment on how I never initiated, but I really just didn’t want to, which was something he had trouble understanding. Why? Why do I just freeze up like that?? It ruins everything. I’ve come so far from where I used to be, but how am I supposed to improve if my mood gets destroyed on anything past second base?

Am I asexual or something? Do I just not want to have sex? Or is this still the aftermath of my attacks? What is up with me? This is completely hindering my chances at getting relationships to the point where I actively avoid and reject guys who are interested in me because I know I have to sort this crap out in my head first.

Does anyone have any advice at all?? I could REALLY use it. I’m tired of being single.

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you could try using sex enhancers such as viagra for women, and when your in the mood just try to relax and just enjoy it, why not try being in the bath with someone with candles lit warm water and just let one thing lead to another?

Yeah I think relaxing is definitely an issue when it comes up…I’ve actually considered taking a shot or two beforehand, haha.

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if you dont want to have sex either, theres people that have relationships that dont involve sex and they lead happy fulfilling relationships even marriages

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@Anna try and uncomplicate the motions of having sex. I think maybe you are “thinking too much” and just not relaxing? being relaxed during sex is very important…I mean excitement is there too but both people should have a cool relaxed mind about it going on. I hope you fix this because sex is worth it…good sex that is…

I think when you discussed the demonic delusions before, it was brought up that you might have PTSD because of it. Of course it’s understandable that you would be reluctant after that ordeal. Did you ever bring it up with your therapist?

Are you socially withdrawn from guys?

My feelings towards guys have been very complex…at first I had no problem with them, because my abuse came from demons, not people, so I didn’t make that connection and my fear did not carry over to men.

Unfortunately, an incident happened this summer where some creep started hitting on me while I was alone. I tried to cross the street and he grabbed me by the wrist and yanked me back to him. I did get away eventually, and to anyone else it would have just been a gross experience but to me it triggered the connection between my abuse and men, realizing that very easily I could have gone through the same thing again, which made me feel way too vulnerable.

Ever since that small event that made that terrible connection for me I have become deeply intimidated by all but the most non-threatening guys (small in stature or effeminent, etc.) It’s like every interaction I have with a guy who I otherwise might find attractive I now see this potential there for something horrible to happen, for my abuse to repeat itself, and it scares me. I mean holy crap, my heart would start racing if I was alone in an elevator with a guy.

I’m trying to overcome this. It’s difficult. And upsetting. I was NEVER afraid of guys. I was a tomboy throughout my entire childhood! I remember my friends always saying how they envied that I was so comfortable around guys, and now I’ve lost that and it just really bothers me.

As to if I’ve brought it up with my therapist, I can’t see her for a couple weeks because of car issues that need taking care of. But when I do see her I’ll try to bring it up more in detail than I have…it’s a very awkward thing to work into the conversation. I kind of have to build up the courage, ha.

Hmm…well the next time I find myself in that situation (which will be who knows when) I will try to see what I’m thinking…I know my anxiety was due to repetitive thoughts I wasn’t aware of…I guess it’s just sort of like a “Don’t do this, don’t do this, don’t do this, don’t let this happen.” That runs through my head. I don’t like the idea of vulnerability. At all. And letting someone do that stuff to me makes me feel vulnerable. Maybe I just need to learn how to let my guard down?

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Nothing wrong with building up trust first and will make a huge difference. Just take things a lot slower then normal. Communication is the big one here also.

I have never had sex,and fear intimacy,it’s defitnately an issue

These are tough issues. A friend had the casper thing happen too. A local group of sex abusers was bragging about driving people crazy and the ‘tactile hallucinations’ are just another symptom of the mental abuse…Have you moved from the community where this went on? Have you had any contact with anyone from that time of your life who was not okay? If you can guess cause of this in the community and avoid any other contact, things got better for my friend. Other kids had similar stories in this neighborhood… Unfortunately, nothing was done about this group of abusers but I think it is illegal to do this to kids any longer due to strong sex abuser laws. Cops and courts here are crooked, wealthy get to stay here and most others leave.

Some who had the casper thing happen could just get up from the bed for 15 minutes and say no-thanks aloud. Friends who had this happened had really healthy relationships later and happy people …Things got better.

Some with your story reported kind of paralysis before tactile hallucinations started. That’s scary. I’m glad things are better.

Did you try therapy? But, sometimes the therapy available for psychosis people is bad as social worker therapy is only thing allowed and training in only in interventions…There are so really big problems with mental care, must just admit this to start.

Are you taking risperdal consta? Some of the psych doctors were withholding info on sexual side effects…Seroquel can do this at big dose (450 mg+) too. Females go frigid and period stops…menstrual stoppage is sign the psych drugs may cause female frigidity…Depo provera birth control shots can cause this too. (Actually, seroquel cut up in pieces due to coating and dose of 50-200 can give a really good sleep when you want it.)

Some of the younger men are just ‘bad’ at things. Try and older one as females take a lot more skill to climax so less experienced partner can be bad. Better to pick the men yourself so you don’t end up with the bad crazy ones who hit on people…look at gang stalking/cause stalking/thought broadcasting. Some of the part-time psychotics follow orders from the voices to harass strangers about something private, pick up someone with intention to cheat/financial crime/battery, theft, vandalism, ruin work for coworkers/customers…The wealthies are usually worse, they are crooks…The mental care refuses to discuss this even calling it delusional, causing confused to go insane. This is called ‘not self directed’ in the medical records as I worked for psych clinic for a while. This is policy of mental care, but unfortunate is just to sell more drugs. Ever getting angry with the mental care staff or even showing frustration with some will get you forcibly mental hospitaled at your own expense for as long as doctor can justify. It’s just not worth it to try to discuss this much as the care’s denial of this will only upset…

Not sleeping can put weight on a female badly, plus the psych drugs too. This can cause more sexual problems. You may also have some issues from verbal abusive males due to weight…

And, women can take viagra type stuff too.

Hope this helps.

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As for the guy who hit on you and grabbed you by the wrist, maybe you should try pepper spray. As for the sex, it depends on what you want. If you want to have sex, maybe you should visit a sex therapist. Sex can be a gratifying experience, so you might want to push yourself a little. If you’re okay without sex, I wouldn’t worry about it.

I can’t have sex with my partner due to ( my medication) least I think it’s that. I don’t have an interest for sex or feel aroused. It’s quite upsetting being a man I feel. But my partner is really understanding she says she will still be here for me and when it happens it happens.

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If you want to just lose your virginity and if you have issues like childhood trauma or something like I did, read this, if you don’t want to change, don’t read this.

I was molested by a woman and hadn’t kissed a girl until I was 20, and I have been athletic and handsome if I might say since I was 16. I was terrified of attractive women, they made me psychotic, until one blatantly suggested having sex for fun, then I went on an avalanche of sexual behaviors, some deviant some normal. I cooled my ■■■■ after several months of doing everything sexual that you can think of, with men and women and with myself. Im bisexual. The clinical assessment that was written when I was 19 noted how I was traumatized and afraid of women and had not resolved the childhood trauma. I actually wrote a case study of myself for medical ethics and referred to my assessment (which was two years ago) and I laughed a little bit at it.

Sex is a huge part of the human psyche, it drives us in ways that most people fail to begin to comprehend.

As you can see from what I just wrote, you get to a point where you have had enough sex to understand it and not think about it or feel like you need it all of the time.

thats what I did when it became too much of a curiosity. Now I sometimes pursue it, sometimes people pursue me, whatever. It’s actually pretty awesome, it is a force that drives life, it is no joke.

Sounds like you have trauma and need exposure therapy like I did. Ok, Im just gonna say it like it is. Keep moving from base to base gradually. Notice if you react abnormally. You will need to push your comfort zone to get anywhere, but gradually and with repeated exposure. I kissed at first, went for a couple months without contact, then this girl just threw herself at me after meeting her and that was that. I was very happy afterwards and felt proud, liberated, ect., it was therapeutic for me. Do keep in mind that I was a 20 year old powerlifter…that sort of played a part…

But it is powerful and can make you do crazy ■■■■. Believe me on that. Afterwards you might feel a little high, that’s because you basically are, the brain activity during sex is very similar to recreational drugs.

Look, I am trying to help by sharing my experience, but if you don’t want to do things with your significant other or whoever, don’t. If you do want to but have problems doing so, read up on exposure therapy and practice exposure therapy on yourself.

I had huge issues with sex just a year ago, now its like “sure why not? Oh that was good. Im high.”

If you are religious and believe in the whole no sex before marriage thing, disregard everything I just said.