Have these obsessive inserted thoughts from Alien of killing my husband? I do NOT want to. the thoughts distress me so much. But they flood my brain
For example, when I play with my husband’s beard, and touch his throat in affection, Alien puts thoughts of strangling him into my head. Even more disturbing than that sometimes.
I don’t know if it’s harm OCD because I was never diagnosed with OCD and it’s not me.
Doesnt everyone married have thoughts like this? Why would i be having them?
Then if any urges come I cut or scratch my arm to atone and be Alien’s scapegoat. It’s like I say to him hurt me but don’t touch my husband!!
I hate these distressing overcrowding thoughts! Are they normal amongst normies? Or sz/sza causing it?
I wish I could love my husband in peace. I do get irritated with him sometimes but that’s normal I know.
I’m curious. Do you usually actually hear a voice(alien) telling you these things or are they just thoughts that pop into your head that you are attributing to Alien?
I did try clozapine in 2004 but didn’t stay on it long enough as the side effects were terrible. I will consider going to 600mg amisulpride if my pdoc agrees
In that case…maybe med changes will help with your voice, but perhaps you should look into methods for dealing with intrusive thoughts. Therapy might help as well. CBT is probably also an option.
I’ve learnt when I get dark thoughts, they’re sometimes the most exteme solutions to my problems.
Suicidal ideation, for me, comes when my life is very stressful because dying is the easiest option (though very much not the best by any means).
Thoughts of harming others come when i’m trying to supress how desperately stressed and/or irritated they’re making me.
You husband consumes A LOT of your energy and free time. You almost don’t see anyone but him, and most of your days revolve around caring for him.
Is there any way he can apply for a home aid for maybe a few hours a week or so, to get you some “me time”?
Is there anything he can do by himself, but just finds more convenient to have you do? Could you have a talk with him about both of you trying to be more independent for a while?
I don’t know. Defining “normal” is tricky. Lots of people have intrusive thoughts. Probably not normal to have them as persistent and disturbing to you as yours are. I think it’s best not to try to define them as normal or not, but try to find a way to deal with them.
Addition: I just remembered you do a lot of texting for him.
Could you maybe teach him to use the “speech to text” function so he doesn’t need your help to communicate with people?
If you are still sharing a phone, could he get his own?
They have phones with settings for those with bad hearing or eyesight, or a need for extra easy interfaces
I don’t believe in that kind of thing. You can’t kill someone with your thoughts. Try not to worry about that. I really think some kind of therapy in addition to meds would be helpful to you. You need to learn some ways to deal with these thoughts when they do arise and also hopefully someone will be able to convince you that you cannot harm someone with your thoughts.