But I DON’T WANT TO, ITS NOT ME IT’S HIM. Why does he want my husband dead? Why can’t he tell me to kill a fly or cockroach or something? Instead of putting evil into my mind foreign infection.
I am too scared to look my husband in the eye because he will read Alien’s thoughts he will see into my mind and be scared just like me … at the monster inside of me… I wish I could kill Alien but I can’t as he’s a spirit.
Distract distract distract all I can do. Alienitis infection haha! That’s what it is - Alienitis. It’s scary because he says I’m a murderer and I’m not.
It’s so distressing to have evil thoughts being placed in my head about my husband and at same time love him and want all the best for him.
At least it’s not 24/7 mercifully not but still it’s upsetting as those things he says stay in my mind almost all day. Every time I want to hug my husband I’m being reminded of Alien’s thought to kill. I…I wanna cry…I love my husband so much…I don’t want Alien to hurt him… makes me wanna cry… think maybe kill myself first but I’m scared…maybe go to hell and I don’t want to…
I’m so stuck
Hope I can forget about it if I distract myself enough
For me, when I hear voices, they say if you don’t do what I tell you to do…you are going to kill yourself. but then I figure out that it was delusional.
You said you reduced you antipsychotic dose to 100mg and that you’re only stable at 400mg. Can’t you stay at a stable dose? You’ll keep suffering otherwise.
Alien is trying to use me to do his work, he’s trying to possess me trying to make me do his evil work. It’s not me!! He’s trying to claim me… making me become evil but I’m not…I’m not…
Maybe take 200mg amisulpride instead of 100mg. … maybe it can help after all… otherwise alien will possess me and use me for his purposes. I don’t want to be his hands and eyes. I can’t look in the mirror for fear of seeing him. Am I psychotic?
I deal with an entity who has taken full control over me in the past to show me it can manipulate me at any moment. I hear a device/machine as well as a group of entities plus this malevolent energy. It has never left me and terrifies me day and night.
I can identify with that @Watchers it’s scary indeed
I’m so afraid sometimes because I’m scared I’d obey the evil and do something I don’t really want to.
Fortunately the meds help with that to some degree
I get some spells of bad thoughts/voices against some random person for no apparent reason some times. I find it helps to challenge it and kind of like ask what the heck are you on about? Or say to myself get a grip. I kind of have to push the thought out of my mind. It works for me most of the time.
can you call the crisis team or mental health care that is in your country they can help you , you are unwell and needing help from someone professional like your psych you can maybe talk to them on the phone they might be able to help
Thanks @ParanoidAndroiduk. Fortunately once I got on higher dose of meds Alien quietened down. But he does lurk in background still… going to get in touch with mental health professionals soon I hope. My usual pdoc handed me over to state sector pdocs as he said my mental health problems too complex for him to treat. So I’m without pdoc at moment