After about two days since my depression lifted I feel moody again. Could be my pms but it doesn’t usually affect my mood so much, and I doubt two weeks of depression could be due to that.
I’m worried about the inserted thoughts still coming from Alien of my hubby killed. It’s like I’m slowly killing hubby with my thoughts and I’m scared because I don’t want him to die, it’s only alien telling me I do. What happens if hubby does by accident and police arrest me as suspect because of alien?
I’m almost too scared to look hubby in the eye because he’d read my thoughts if he looks into my dark pupils.
I’m so glad I’m seeing pdoc on wed because I can’t cope with this guilt anymore. I love my husband , why would I want him dead? I know marriage is hard and he can be a burden and I sometimes long to be single and in a group home, but I love him and he’s special to me so why want him dead, I’d hate that for him, I’d want him to live so why the thoughts of death?
It’s a myth that sz makes one a killer but does my sza do that really? Why am I so bad in my head?
I read a lot of crime fiction as I find it interesting all the forensics etc but I’ve had this inserted thoughts much longer before I started reading crime. I remember in hospital in 2019 already having fears alien would kill hubby. Now he wants to use me but I’m not having any of his shite.
I would say be completely open about your thoughts with your pdoc, cause it doesn’t actually sound like you want your husband dead, those are just your inserted thoughts. Otherwise, if you’re real scared of being admitted, make up some other delusions or something so that you can get an updose on your ap.
I’m not an expert on voices and how they work. I just know that they are something that you should try not to listen to, but maybe it’s possible that your voice is a projection of your fear of losing your husband. Maybe it tells you these things not because you want to kill your husband, but because you DO NOT want to see your husband hurt. IDK. I’m not a psychologist and am not 100% sure how voices get to be how they are…but just a thought.
No, need to apologize. I doubt that I am going to be able to convince you otherwise. I just hope that your pdoc can make him/it go away. That’s the most important thing.
Maybe just tell your Dr that you’re getting violent thoughts. I told that to my Dr. Its better than what happened to me, my parents told the cops that I was violent and 4 cops came to my house, surrounded me and dragged me to mental hospital. They even surrounded me when I went to my room to put shorts on as I was in my boxers punching holes in walls lol
You should ask your pdoc about ocd thoughts. It sounds like harm ocd. Ive had it.
You fear that your going to hurt someone you love and you imagine all these horrendous things beingn a killer etc. Then you avoid avoid avoid. Its a big cycle.
If you ask for meds to be upped it might dampen it down a bit