I present myself as being a bit unkempt.
Full beard, baggy old clothes etc…
I’ve been under an enormous amount of stress lately and I’ve been more socially withdrawn especially with the public.
I don’t know how much more stress I can take before I fully crack!
My negatives have gotten worse and I have to take frequent breaks on the couch.
im not unkempt but i do get a lot of reactions to how i look. may just be that i live in a small town rural area and they arent used to seeing people like me, but whenever i go out in public eyes lock onto me, and thats not even my paranoia speaking because family members have noticed. i dress a bit eccentric and carry myself weird, ive always been offbeat and strange. i tend to have extreme ideas that go against a society that values moderation and the middle ground so if i speak about my ideas and thought son things people often think im “out there” even though my ideas make perfect sense to me. i live mostly in fantasy unless i have to be in the real world, i mostly retreat into my head and obsess over things, mostly ideas, rather than interact much with my world. i guess i can be very offputting due to my personality because of how…unfiltered i am, i can stick my foot in my mouth really easily without realizing, and i tend to say absurd things but in a very serious way (i dont really have any differentiation in how i speak so everything comes out sounding serious) and that sends people aback a little bit i think. im also a total open book and will discuss the most lewd or personal things with someone if they ask about it and people think im strange for that
I think I made improvements since I’ve been on abilify. Before, I’d dress just like with whatever clothes my mother bought me from the thrift store. I had no inkling of fashion trends and my hair would always look slightly unkept, as it gets frizzy.
Now, I put a ton of effort into putting up a fake, normie front. My treatment by society has improved 100%. Apparently, society does judge a book by its cover.
I buy thrift store clothes, still, but I look for trendy clothes and I look at amazon’s fashion department now and then to get ideas of what’s trendy.
I carry certain things in my purse at all times:
scented body lotion: makes me smell nice
body spray: makes me smell nice
hair glossy shine spray: keeps my frizzy hair sleek and straight.
Lipstick: normies love lipstick
deodorant: makes me feel more confident in my odor lol
I literally carry these things at all times!
nobody at work has a clue that I’m MI at all. You’d be shocked at how much appearance has to do with social acceptance. It’s ridiculous!
My Psyc’s and doc all say I present too well. I have the ability to “fake” that I’m ok, interacting with people in “normal ways” and hiding how dishevelled I am on the inside. This can be detrimental to receiving the care I need.
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