Schizophrenia.com

Is this really thought broadcasting?

hi! I’m still a newbie in this forum and I would like to share my experience.

I’m still thinking that what I’m doing is actually thought broadcasting. It usually happens anywhere at all. It applies to most people (within my range) but somehow, people close to me (loved ones & friends) aren’t affected by it. I did not know why though. The only ones affected by my thought broadcasting are actual strangers. It also applies on media like RADIO Stations.

They usually talk loudly, repeating what I’m currently thinking at the moment or what I have done these past few days. I try my best not to think of anything; however, when I pass by my usual way with a crowd scattered along the way, they would usually mock and provoke me whenever I’m not thinking
about them. The more I prevent myself from thinking about them, the more I think of them.

I cannot say it’s delusional since it is real. I kept telling myself it’s just in my head; however, when they provoke me, I end up cursing them and they would say stuff like “She’s scared that’s why she’s doing that.” or “She’s responding again.”

It’s hard not to think that I’m the one they’re referring to and it’s too coincidental with their choice of words whenever I’m nearby. I want to think it’s delusional since it’s curable. Otherwise, I don’t know how to bring back my privacy anymore!

This started up when I was bullied on a new work place. It totally changed my view on life and now, I’m battling it alone. With prayers and trust, I am able to stay alive. But there are times I would like to end things easily. :frowning:

Is this delusional? Is this really thought broadcasting?

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Is this all happening in your mind, or are you actually talking to people and they are responding?

I am actually talking to people thru my thoughts and well, to my dismay, they are responding.

(e.g. I’m walking on my home and a guy or two is nearby. Whatever I’m thinking at the moment or what just happened at work, they will repeat it by the time I pass by them - exactly the same words - which left me dumbfounded!)

I try my best not to think of them, but they usually provoke me to get me to respond to them. I want to think it’s just in my mind (my family and friends told me so); however, the more I think it’s not real, the more proofs I gather that it is real.

You think maybe your illness is clouding your thoughts and perspective?

I’m not really sure. But what are the chances that they repeat what exactly I have thought of the moment I was there?

I wanted to think it was the opposite. I wanted to think it was paranoia and trauma that I could not get over. :fearful:

It probably is. Try not noticing it.

That’s what I’ve been doing lately. However, it does not stop my thoughts from being accessible. :weary:

I suddenly hoped I wasn’t aware of what I’ve been doing. >.<

I have the same thing you do. With time this gets better and on the correct medicine, life is manageable again.

For example, I can hear the voices say anything, even if it is scary like them reading my mind, or saying something mean or hurtful, and the things they say dont bother me as much.

I have heard things as bad as my husband saying im ugly, fat, not as pretty as this other girl, etc.

I suffered for 5 years trying to convince myself that no one can read my mind and that its not real, but the more i tried to prove their existence as being unreal, the more they provoked me.

Finally i decided to tell myself I wasnt delusional and that people really can read minds and thats when i finally started getting better and working on myself so that my thoughts would not be so embarrasing and trying to find better ways to communicate with the voices.

Even though some people still act evil to me, I am not as phased by them since i changed my mind. It takes a lot of work and effort to recover from schizophrenia, but I find myself as a recovered person for the most part. The hard work is done, now i spend my time trying to entertain my husband and me and him have become much closer, in the mind at least.

p.s. believe me it does get better. Please get on the right medicine and you will see for yourself.

I have external audible hallucinations as well. I hear people talking about me or things that I was thinking or about events that are going on in my life. I seem to think there’s a big conspiracy involving me and possibly other people with SZ. It’s like everyone is a bunch of golden globe worthy actors who pretend to like you and not know what you’re thinking to your face. However, then they are cruel mean spirited people who have an agenda against you behind your back while they listen to your thoughts. I have come to terms that this is probably just a delusion and if it isn’t there’s not much I can do about it so I may as well just go with the flow.

I consulted this with a psychiatrist and instead of the voices getting out of my head, medications only led me to sleep better with faster heart rate.

I stopped taking the meds since I was not diagnosed with anything at all.

The voices around me (mostly my neighbors and crowd nearby) would laugh mockingly saying, “She thinks she could get rid of the thought broadcasting by seeing a shrink or taking meds?” or something insulting and mimicking my thoughts such as “I’m taking sleeping pills just to get some shut eye hahahaha!” So I stopped taking meds and have to face them every single day. I also stopped depending much on my iPod whenever I travel to work or go home. However, I would feel traumatize and anxious every single day no matter how much courage I’ve got.

Thanks for the encouragement though. :slight_smile:

I wanted to think so as well that everything I hear is just a delusion; however, there are times that the voices surrounding me would force me to listen to them no matter how hard I try not to notice them. And when I curse the people saying bad stuff about me, they say that I’m the one who is wrong and I don’t deserve to say those things to them.

Their laughter and mocking would usually catch my attention (especially the times when they have to repeat every single word I’m thinking at the moment). I mean, who wouldn’t be dumbfounded with the thought they were saying the same stuff you’re thinking right that moment you were nearby??

When I feel like I’m talking to people through my thoughts, I give them important information like my social security number, address, phone number and such… I figure if there going to invade my privacy than I’ll give them the things this world finds important, cause nothing else is hidden for them to try and weasel out of me, and it shows them that I really don’t care if there in there I’m still going to move on with my life and think my own thoughts.
I also figure it shows them that conversation is fine when it’s out in the open and not inside my head…

it’s more like thought leakature they found their way to some other bodies besides your main

I find it hard to believe people aren’t listening to my thoughts and discussing them out loud about me too. However, sometimes I find that I’m just reading more into what people are actually saying. Like it’s some sort of code or something. Other times it actually is all in my head because it’s actually voices in head talking to me externally or so I’ve noticed. Other times it just is people talking verbally about things I have been thinking about or doing at the time. So it’s really hard to say. I try to believe it’s synchronicity but it’s difficult to believe in.

it can be daunting when the voices come from outside of your head. I feel your pain on that one.

Hey everyone, I think this idea of thought broadcasting is very normal for people suffering with schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder. I hear my thoughts being played back to me all the time and I hear multiple voices at the same time and of course they even talk to each other all the time. They claim to be the Illuminati but these are all delusions, and you just have to realize that people can’t read your mind and that there is no group of people doing this. I’ve come to peace with my old delusions and it’s really made life easier. All my voices are violent and negative which is not my personality so it just doesn’t bug me anymore.

I think you just need to keep seeing a psychiatrist and get on some good medication and also therapy. I know talking about it with other people really helps me a lot. I hope this helps you get over your own delusions.

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I get this, the way i explain it to myself is that people are talking normall to one another but, while their words mean what they say in reality, the meassages i get are recieved in a different realm if conciousness and mean something different to me. Strange

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If it helps the severity and negativness of these experiences gradually lessendwith medication and therapy. Although not gone completley, they bother me less. This will happen to you over time and you will recover, seek the help you need

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I try to move on with my life while they are there, doing their very best to reach out to me. I tend to look at people negatively, most of the time with hatred. Now, I wanted to heal and prevent myself from doing that. However, if I’m going to live within the same environment, I don’t think I could heal completely.

It works very well when I do not notice the voices of my neighbors or crowd nearby. I mean, it only works when I’m busy with something. But when I’m walking home or going to work, I can’t help but overhear them. Well, everyone who hears my thoughts are doing it in purpose anyway! They shout to reach out to me.

I also on the other hand have a hard time believing what I’m experiencing up until this moment. I’m trying to ask myself if I’m still normal. I’m not completely diagnosed with SZ; most people around me mock me for thinking so because of my thought broadcasting. I wanted to prove myself it’s only delusional; however, when crowds are nearby I wanted to take a record of what they’re saying just to prove that it is me that they are discussing. I don’t even know if I am in the right place making this conversation! :frowning:

However, the people whom I share my thoughts with aren’t even thinking how the heck she is doing that or so. They don’t ask. They are just happy I’m sharing my whole world with them without giving myself permission to do so. It was uncontrollable.