Is this fair?

hi! i hope this is alright to ask : - )

i’m not working or in school, and i live with my sister and her boyfriend. she let me come here with no income to get away from my mom.

i’m just now starting to get disability checks for my schizophrenia. i’m going to be getting $770 a month (usd)

my sister has to pay rent ($750) - electric ($80) - internet ($100) and wants me to pitch in.
i offered to pay the internet and electric every month, and she said she wants me to pay 400 a month instead.

i’d be left with $370 a month. does that seem fair? maybe i was offering too low. when i found out i’d have money i just assumed i’d be able to keep more of it and actually have room to do things with it

i don’t know how much money they make, but i know they both have jobs and they eat out/order out pretty often

It seems a little high to me. :cactus::cactus::cactus:

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Tasha lives in East Anglia with her husband and three children and writes a parenting blog called Mummy & Moose. When her son turned 16 the family agreed he would contribute to the household once he got his first job. They gave him the choice to either paying a ‘family rate’ of 30% of his wages and continuing to help out with chores, or a 50% ‘lodger rate’ where he didn’t have to do housework.

Not exactly the same but might give you an idea. When I got ill and left school my father expected me to pay 50% of my benefit money.


That is a cool way of doing that. :ram::ram::ram:

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there isn’t a whole lot to be done here! BUT i do dishes, and babysit. and i pretty much keep to myself

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I lived with my sister. I paid for renting the room and part of the utilities. I bought my own food and it was my responsibility to do the yard work and clean a bathroom. This arrangement seemed fair and pretty clear
I had to clean up after myself in the kitchen and living room…It was never a problem. My advice is forget all nicities and good will gestures and the three of you sit down and talk money. Just a business meeting about everybodies income and exactly what every bill entails. Hammer out a deal about who uses what and how much. You shouldn’t be paying for stuff you don’t use. I lived with my sister for three years in my thirties and I was expected to pay bills and rent just like any other roommate would. And to treat her house like any other tenant would.


i do feel like shes asking a bit much from me. i kind of feel like she should be taking into consideration how little money i’m getting. (i mean im definitely not getting enough money to live on my own, so its not like shes just taking a huge chunk out of an unnecessary fund i’m getting)
but i don’t know if i’ll fight her on it

i did ask that she doesn’t take so much the first month because i want to buy presents for my friends and family this christmas. i don’t know if thats fair of me though? i haven’t dealt with having a personal income before

I think it’s a fair price without considering you babysitting. How much do you babysit - like how many hours per week?


This says parents charge their adult children on average £132($170) a month to stay in their home.

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it’s not regularly scheduled really. it happens at random times kind of without warning? she’ll ask me to babysit when she wants to go out and the dads wont take the kids. she has a 4 year old and a 2 year old who i babysit. and a baby i haven’t babysat yet

I would suggest subtracting a fair wage for babysitting from the total when you sit for her. My sister told me if I ever needed to live with her she would expect me to give her my whole Ssdi check which is unfair. But I would be ok giving 400. I make the same as you.


the only extra thing shes paying for having me here is groceries which i can buy on my own if i have enough money. and the internet maybe which i could pay too. and id still have more money than if i just paid some random rent price.

i feel like i should only be paying as much as it costs for me to live here. does that make sense?

I think very few of us get fair deals in life. Even when we work, we don’t get the money we earn or produce, we get what we negotiate.

I like 77Nick77’s concept about the business meeting. He has a lot of experience living with room mates. I think you should be asking yourself, not what is fair, but whether you can negotiate a better deal in your circumstances.

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30 percent of your income is $250 a month

that’s standard gov rate of payment for anyone

actually, I think Ben Carson just raised it to 35 percent

not sure, but yeah, she’s asking too much, and using you on top of it.

Never live with family. It will ruin your relationship.

You should be able to get Section 8 on Disability.

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@Daze I also make only $735 per month. Are you talking about the apartments that you can rent based on income?

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I was in low income housing

but got help with the rent from Eastern Iowa Regional Housing Authority

the low income rent was $585 for a 3 bedroom, and I couldn’t even afford that

until I got into good work, then I paid the full rent without assistance

then I got a gov loan for my house, and they offer a subsidy on my mortgage
within income guidelines, that’s thru USDA Rural Development
usually I pay $730 a month for a 3 bedroom, 2 bath, 2 car garage, fenced in backyard.

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$400 a month to rent a room with all utilities included sounds fair.

If you think it is asking to much look up rooms for rent on your local craigslist and see how much others are asking.

Around me what your getting would go for $700+. But if you live out in rural Illinois people rent rooms for $350 - $400.

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My brother lived here for 3 months with me

but I didn’t charge him, he just bought the food

I wanted him to save up for his apartment.

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Well from the sound of it I’d never be able to get a place with my income if I ever had to, even with subsidized housing. My whole income is $735 per month

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maybe? idk. i live in a pretty bad area. little apartment, little bedroom. lots of crime and all that. so i’m not living in the best place in the first place

i also never leave my room unless im leaving the apartment. i have… not much room. and i was moved into this apartment without my consent when i was 17 (i didnt agree to move in with her and i didnt get told in advance i was going to either)

they also put the internet bill in my name without even telling me, and when i was a minor and got money i didn’t even know how much we were getting. most of the money went to her doing things for herself. idunno

paying almost half of her bills with over half of my check when i dont do anything and it costs $250 a month for me to live here at the very most seems a little silly