I’ve met my partner of 13 years around age thirty.
The biggest hurdle is that the vast majority of the world feature some sort of mental instability or lack of maturity, whether they realize it or not,
so often times your only immediate available prospects are too broken (themselves) to desire a mature or emotionally stable relationship. Even if potential partners do want to try for a committed relationship it is highly doubtful they will pull one off successfully any time before they reach middle age.
I see it as if convicts seeking out true love from other convicts in a rehabilitation facility. It is highly doubtful
anything you find early in life will last very long. Experience from age tends to compensate intellectual shortcomings making it easier for prospects to see you for what you do offer more than what you do not.
Yes I think so. As a group we have quite some problems in sociality. I mean, if we have trouble making or maintaining friendships, how are we expected to do just as good as others in the dating field?
And then there’s the thing of having to disclose fairly early on - I cannot really imagine how you’re going to hide your diagnosis from a (potential) partner for say half a year. And I wouldn’t want to. Those constitute a pretty heavy constraint on the number of people you’d match with. More constraints, less potential partners. Perfectly fine people are going to get put off by this diagnosis, even more perfectly fine people are going to get put off by the symptoms that come with it.
sz does something to our social skills which we cannot control.
I was very social and had friends and girlfriends who made me feel that I was okay. Then, when sz really hit me I lost my girlfriend and things began to change in way I couldn’t do anything about. The shortest answer is yes, it is more difficult because you have to think of two people instead of yourself which is complicated by the illness. It is, however, not impossible. I know someone with sz who is married and content. It depends on you how much you think you can cope with day by day.
i’m just not discussing this anymore, i am not desperate but it would be nice to meet someone but as i say i am fed up trying so i am just going to wait quietly and hope someone comes over to me
hopefully she will be dazzling and childless and accepting of my problem.
It’s the strong picking on the weak. It’s treacherous and the world can turn from being a safe controlable place in one minute into being a dangerous, chaotic place in the next minute. The predators in the world are just like predators in the jungle. Survival of the fittest or whatever. But the world ain’t all bad. I just walked around the corner to the 7-1 store next door to buy a Dr.Pepper. My housemate is at the doctors so I’m using this opportunity to make some important, private phone calls that I can not make while he’s here. The weather’s nice and I normally work on Fridays but I took a paid vacation day off today so I can putter around the house and take it easy all day.
Does my life suck? Yes, it does.
Is my life great? Yes it is.
Hey you, just wanted to drop a line and tell you that my girl came to me. SHe understood me and was willing to help me along the way in every way and that’s what you deserve brother. It’s what everyone deserves in this cold dark country.
There are a lot of people out there who are total jerks. Some of them have been hurt, and they have issues. We all have experienced at least some disappointment in our lives. Some people have a revenge motive. Some are just greedy users. It’s easy to kiss a toad and think you’ll get a prince, where all you might really get is a toad. There are good people out there, so be patient and not too eager to find just any relationship.
I got sz one year after marriage a 30 years old just had our first child. My wife was ready to leave me several times but I would get better. We fell in and out of love so many times. Three episodes later we are more in love than ever 2 great kids good job and nice house. Things can work out with a lot of hard work. And we have been fortunate to find meds that work for me. My sz has made a strong bond with my wife and I that we would have never had without it. Our love is unconditional we’ve been through the fire together so to say. My wife was a good friend from day one. Never thought of her as a hot babe. It’s always best to look for friends first. Even if they also have a diagnosis . That works for some couples.
More considered answer: It’s possible for someone with SZ to find a friend with benefits or spouse, but the odds are stacked against us. We have to try that much harder.
I think it’s harder for men because illness is often thought of as a weakness, and weakness is less socially acceptable for men than for women. That said, whenever I read threads about this I always get the impression that a lot of guys here go for women who are out of their league. It might not be the case, I don’t know, but I would think that if you always get turned down from the beginning then you’re doing something wrong.
