I want a relationship. My current prospects are not good. I’m pushing 50, I’m overweight, and I have SZA. None of those things are appealing to most men. Plus, I want to date someone around my age, and they only want women much younger than me.
I keep thinking there will be someone for me. I think I would make a good girlfriend, SZA notwithstanding!
I haven’t dated or been with anyone in over 10 years. In that 10 years, I only met two men I was interested in. Neither reciprocated the interest, though one of them messed with me to make me think he was interested, then he told me no.
I had one love in my life, and while it was good, it was awesome. I felt very complete and grounded.
In between that love and the ten years ago when I stopped seeing people, I was a raging sex addict. I got treatment for it, and I would rather go the rest of my life without sex than go back to that. And I would rather be single for the rest of my life than to settle for less than extraordinary (for me).
I came close one time, but she decided that she liked me more as a friend, which is fine by me. Can never have too many friends. She’s actually become one of my best friends, so I suppose it worked out
I started going to Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) meetings. It’s also known as the Augustine Fellowship. They’re harder to find outside major cities (I lived in LA when I went), but I know they’re all having Zoom meetings now because of Covid.
I am lucky. I met my husband when I was 21. He was 25. We immediately fell in love. Dated for 2 months, which felt like a year, so we got engaged. We were engaged for only 2 months, as well, and then got married!
It all happened very fast, but we felt like we had known each other for years! We’ve been married for 7 years, now.
I was diagnosed with schizoaffective bipolar type when I was 23. Hubby has always been supportive of all of my health problems.
Hubby also has a health problem. He was diagnosed with menieres disease, before we met, but his diagnosis got changed to vestibular migraines, recently. He gets severely dizzy and nauseous. He can’t have caffeine, very little sodium, and some other stuff. He’s also autistic. He didn’t get the autism diagnosis until he was 31, but we always suspected he had it.
We work well, together. We hang out with each other as much as possible. We’re not just partners, we’re best friends!
So it was a 12-step program. I wondered, I talked to a guy from sa, sex addicts anonymous, and attended one Zoom meeting. I was concerned I was becoming addicted, but I just got my head on straight and manage to even things out. I’m sure I could still use some work on myself
SLAA is a little gentler than SAA, IMO. I did amazing work on myself, with the 12 steps, even beyond the sex addiction. I believe they are a great way to do work own yourself and change, if you want to. (Don’t forget to take what you like and leave the rest – what they say is not law!)
I found the same with Al-Anon, it was a lot gentler than AA. Once I quit drinking, which I did on my own (AA was waaaay too intense) my friends were still all drinking, so I went to Al-Anon to be able to accept them better. I can’t relate when they’re drunk, but I want these people in my life. Some are my most beloved friends
We hang out with each other as much as possible. We’re not just partners, we’re best friends!