mortimermouse, something tells me you need to talk this out with your physician. maybe also your pdoc. get some really good help, if only you can get it.
good luck in feeling much better. do something relaxing like take a simple walk in the fresh morning air, o r read a good novel. i like looking in picture magazines like health and prevention.
hope this helps. hugs, judy
Same thing happened me. Itâs a zip code /post code lottery.
I hope you feel better man.
Why does where you are in life depress you? You are in school and in good physical shape. You seem well rounded in some ways. You are equal with many people your age and ahead of most. The one thing that should cheer you up is your place in life.
But I understand the misery. And the ups and downs. I donât want to minimize your obvious suffering. I read most of your posts with interest and I always hope for you to succeed. You take things to the extreme. You need to take it down a notch. I know thatâs over-simplifying things but you need to know when to back off when you feel like pushing yourself to the limit. Schizophrenia is hard on the ego because you (or anyone with it) can be doing great and on top of the world on one day only to be dragged down when the symptoms return the next day.
Are you doing anything for fun these days? I donât know if you count working out as fun. But Iâve had two or three therapists tell me that people with schizophrenia need to have fun. Yeah, it may sound weird but itâs common sense, you need to let your hair down and relax and do something thatâs calming. You need to get away from the tight schedules and pressure and stress. Go swimming or bowling or to a movie or a play. Something. AnythingâŚI hope you get better.
If it cheers you up, when I was your age (youâre 22, right?) I was locked up in a psychiatric hospital with a hundred other severely unbalanced (to put it VERY mildly) people of all ages. So you are way ahead of me when I was your age. Yeah, I know suffering. But Iâve done OK for myself. And Iâm not doing too good now but I had a good dinner over my sisters house tonight. Watched a comedian on Netflix who cracked me up.
Anyway, youâre young, you can change some things. Get more help, reach out in real life.
Not to be trite, but no one said life would be easy. I wish you good luck.
how about taking a break from your intense routine for a 3 week period @mortimermouse stop exercise, sleep in one more hour in the mornings and evenings, just chill and let go and take it easy for a little period of time. Just consider it fall break and go out more in nature or something. I know Iâm gonna go apple picking on weekend soon. Maybe you could replace coffee with ginger tea if youâre vomiting. are you vomiting your meds out? maybe thatâs why youâre a little depressed?
I know you still use nicotine patch at night, maybe you could try and cut that out?
It could be that you are suffering a kind of hangover from all the caffeine. When I was your age I would be euphoric in the mornings after drinking three cups of coffee, then very depressed in the evening when the caffeine had subsided. Your body is probably run by adrenaline cycles because of the caffeine, and now youâre feeling the down side of the cycle. You might consider cutting back on the caffeine to even out that emotional roller coaster.
Yeah you know I donât think anyone understands the knife in the guts thing that isnât part of our social college click---- mind you to a dangerous degree of misunderstanding----- I donât really think thereâs anything wrong with you that canât be fixed. You know like no one actually gets this â â â â . You should talk to @StarryNight . She is in a similar situation.
Ok, since Iâm over the hill now Iâm gonna go play with my ninja character. Peace homesâŚ
You know Iâm sorry but these situations that people get themselves into makes me freakinâ sick to my stomach!!! Iâm gonna throw up too!!! Thereâs nothing wrong with you. So what you like samaurais and mercenarys!! duh!!!
When freakin teenage girls start going into the occult and playing with wikka boards â and then the parents send them to the doctor for it⌠itâs all overâŚ
ok goodbye now.
You know they used to have soldier action figures like G.I. joe that my grandpop gave to me and army helacopters and stuff⌠Now youâre not even allows to bring that stuff into school!!!
goodbye.
I take the patch off at night and I choke down my vomit, like I will vomit, have a mout full of it and swallow it, so my meds eventually he kicked in. Perhaps I should take a break from working out
I hope you get to talk to your doc about all this⌠you need some stress relief it sounds like.
I know you like to push yourself⌠you have mentioned that you were going to back off on the crazy weights and go for healthy⌠not put so much pressure on yourself.
I hope that pressure valve kicks in soon so you can have some days of less anxiety⌠less stress and being less hard on yourself.
I wish the best for you⌠Iâm hoping that when they semester ends⌠you can have some time to really unplug and unwind.
Good luck and Iâm sorry your struggling.
Yeah idk man- whatever works for you
But you know if you like power rangers and barney your prognosis is probably suicide.
lol thatâs a joke.
Thanks James. I did cut the heavy lifting out but I replaced it with basically conditioning routines straight from the marines. I know a bit about the military, after all it was my life dream. I basically do military grade workouts now but itâs calisthenics and running. But a 3 mile and then 100 dips and 100 push ups is a little extreme. I just canât help it.
It does make me feel better, itâs a different kind of pain that I can control and use to make me stronger.
Sorry to hear youâre having a rough go. Youâre awesome. You know this, right?
Pixel.
p.s. Iâm on my third cup of coffee this morning. Nobody tell my cardiologist.
endorphins are addictive too⌠we all have to have something squishing around in the brain.
Some need the adrenaline of fightâŚ
I need the dopamine of loveâŚ
Others need the serotonin of sunâŚ
we all need something.
Thanks pix. I do realize that I put on a game face for the real world. Itâs just the me that takes two hours to wake up and eat breakfast and the me that talks to himself every night to cope with psychosis exists and I hide that face.
I appreciate it and do realize it- yeah, I kick ass. I outperform in school. Iâm smart. I was actually more than just smart before schizophrenia, I was elite, now Iâm just really smart. I used to speak French fairly well- I actually relearned it in college and then I had a relapse and forgot it again. I was a truly remarkable athlete in high school as well.
Iâm awesome given the circumstances. I used to just be awesome without a conditional placed upon the statement.
That is very true. I seem to crave the fight mentality.
Hope your doctor helps you out
So the doc said Nexium twice a day and my heart is fine. I just did my legs workout and am taking the day off. Tomorrow I will be doing reading and homework all day and Sunday I have to re-read my studies cited in my proposal. I got the time for my proposal in mind! I just have to hear back from a prof to confirm it, set it up and get it rolling.
I should be able to reread the literature in a day
Ever since Govât assistance kicked in for me, my life has been much smoother sailing. Itâs much easier knowing I donât have to fight for some pointless seat in reality, I can just take a backseat and let all the smoke & dust clear from whatever pointless psychological war is going on toward & on this planet.
Nowâs not the time to be doing anything, to fight for my own glory or position in the world. It makes no sense to. It all leads to the same end result, which is a bitter version of what I want to become.
to supermouse 
cut down on the caffieneâŚa cup a day âŚtwo max !?!
have protien, morning, lunch, and dinnerâŚyou donât need muchâŚthis will stabilise moods.
stay away from sugarâŚbelieve me â you â donât need stimulation !?!
high heart rate can be due to anxietyâŚstressâŚ
blood pressure can be linked to kidneysâŚso make sure you are drinking lots of waterâŚ!?!
high heart rate can be linked to lack of sleep tooâŚ
remember it is just as important to rest as it is to exercise⌠
honestly meditation would help youâŚ
take care 