I'm in trouble

Yeah, they will do stuff like let you take your tests in a separate, empty room. I know that would help me.
This might help.
http://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/transition.html

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Cool, I’ll take that as a compliment.

I utilize VALIS from time to time. I believe it to be real. (Or at least some version of it)

lol 15 characters. It was a compliment gotta be smart to keep all that in your head.

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Maybe you should withdraw from your classes so you won’t get bad grades, if that’s possible. If they won’t let you maybe you could appeal to a higher authority. Let them know you are fighting with schizophrenia. I might check into different med’s, if I was you.

Dear Meg~
You dont have to deal with school right now if you dont want to. Take any stresses off yourself for now.
Talk to your mom just to calm yourself even.

You are going to feel a lot better tommorow.
Sleep well dear OO

Thank you, I can’t tell you how much that means right now. I really appreciate that!

You don’t make friends with delusions and hallucinations. You treat them. You overcome them.

10-96

Thank you everyone. I’m pondering dropping out of college. I’ve decided to stop pottery and have a break which gives me Thursday for rest, and have talked to the lady that does it, she’s going to talk to my course lead and fight my corner, she’s seen me on bad days. I’m hoping her talking to them will make them realise how desperate I am. I didn’t feel like I could say to their face I’m seriously close to leaving. But she’s going to say that for me. I’m kind of wishing I hadn’t told her, I’m worried about repercussions, and at the moment the thought of them trying to keep me their makes me very scared, because it means I might have to.

Today I’m exhausted, I had a telephone tutorial with my tutor but couldn’t concentrate because of the endless thoughts running through my head. Afterwards, fell asleep. I don’t want to do anything! I just want to hide, I feel sick at the thought of going out and my nights are filled with terror because I just can’t sleep, and the thoughts of all kinds either leaving or coming in. I am exhausted. Im putting on a brave front. I’m going to write mum a letter.

I see my nurse and psychiatrist next Wednesday. I’m going to try and stay calm and get it all across. I just want this over with,I don’t like this, I still think something terrible is going to happen.

Thank you for the kind replies.
Take care,
Meg.

That is good news…

I’m glad your talking to someone in your program. Leaving due to medical is so much easier on the transcripts then just disappearing. Due to a medical leave… you’ll be in better graces to return when your feeling stronger.

Good luck and I hope you feel better soon… I do hope seeing the doc will give you some answers.

Yeah Meg from what you’ve described about your symptoms I think they will go away in time. My symptoms are going away. No one can read your mind. Maybe you just need some time to relax, heal and grow. Best of luck out there. If you decide to take some time off most of the world will understand.

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Thank you @SurprisedJ and @BryanAshley for replying. I had a terrible night and mum made me sit down and say what was going on. She said she noticed me becoming more ‘psychotic’. It’s a relief to be heard, I couldn’t say all this to her face but I told her the basics, she’s willing to take time off work if I need my meds changed, I was honest and said I don’t think I could wait until the summer. I’m considering deferring from my course, so I can go back in September. It makes me so ill, and this is escalating, I feel the intensity of it increase at night, because I can distract in the day, most of the time anyway, but at night I can’t sleep. I’m having a hard time sleeping, I tried to get drunk a few times, but the effects burnt off quickly, took lorazepam, again effects wore off fairly soon. I’m going to tell my mum to hide the remaining alcohol, I don’t like how I am acting. I wish I could sleep. I can fall asleep around dawn, or by the time mum is up. Im exhausted but by the time night comes I’m wired and ready to fight.

I’m going to seriously listen to what my doc recommends. I think if I carry on this way I’ll wind up in hospital, mum agreed. That’s the last thing I want.

Thank you for your replies, I’m still fighting!
Go steady both of you!

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I’m glad you and your Mom have a good relationship. I’m glad the two of you can work on a recovery plan so you feel better soon. Good catch on noticing an escalation with this…

I hope you get to catch up on some sleep soon.
Always hoping the best for you.

I aw my doc and nurse yesterday, they said its clear I’m unwell, I was honest and when trying to explain a crisis I had the other day, my mouth wasn’t cooperating, the doctor understood what I was trying to say immediately, he earned my trust as he was obviously listening. We’re increasing my day time chlorpromazine and if it doesn’t work, we’re changing meds, have another review in four weeks. I think my nurse thinks I need to change.

I’m going to leave college. Have made my mind up. But I’m going to defer my place so I can go back in September if I’m up to it. Not looking forward to telling my course lead. I’m not good at communicating right now and my face seems to spend most of its time twitching. I had a wake up call, on Tuesday everything became to much nearly did brain surgery, I didn’t see anything wrong with it, yesterday the doc and nurse were questioning whether I saw the consequences of that, I didn’t at all. Mum and them explained to me the consequences I was shocked I didn’t see it, but it hasn’t changed much just made me realise I’m really losing myself.

Mum is being really supportive, she says I’m obviously very poorly. I don’t feel that poorly, just out of control, normally my illness gives me control, not take it all away like this. I’m very confused, I feel like a candle, with a flame fading in and out, where the flame means insight. Today my insight is okay but I’m twitching and on edge, I’m feeling physically unwell today, I’m in a lot of pain, my head being the worst but I think it’s just from lack of sleep and stress.

I hope your day is letting you cope as best as is possible!

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I am SO glad you found a doc that is listening and trying to help you. Also glad your Mom is being supportive and helping you stay safe.

I hope things start to turn around for you soon.

As far as telling your school lead about deferring the program… maybe put it in writing. That way you can make it clear your not giving up… just taking a break. Most stuff like that has to be done in writing anyway. Then you don’t have the stress of trying to make your self clear when your feeling stressed.

Thank you for checking in… again… I’m glad you had a good experience with your new doc.