It’s from when I was about 9 to 10 years old and I talked about it when I was having an episode and my head was completely ■■■■■■. It seems to always be on my mind no matter how I feel. I don’t understand how something from so long ago which isn’t much of a big deal effects me so badly. Sometimes it can bring on paranoid delusions.
I’m my own worst enemy with this illness.
It’s difficult because I think our minds find something that a normal person would believe is fairly innocuous, but we can almost fixate on it and feel tremendous amounts of either guilt, frustration, fear, regret etc.
I am like this too. What memories I do have, my memory isn’t very good, are usually things I believe I behaved wrongly in, or are bad times. I haven’t had major trauma in my life, I am very lucky, but my mind turns things that probably, objectively, aren’t that bad into nightmares.
I’m talking a lot, and I don’t know if I’m on the mark or not. I just really wanted to let you know you aren’t alone and I’m thinking about you. take care.
Embarrassing moments can all haunt us. There are moments where I felt I did not handle things well, and there are moments where I felt others did not handle things well. It helps that we talk about it and let the toy unwind, so I’m glad you came to us today.
The past is the past mate. It’s said and done. Forgive yourself and commit to being a better person. Perhaps you’ll find some relief.
Mistakes aren’t that bad if they help you grow…
Not to say that you should seek to make mistakes, but we all have.
What applicablity does it have in your current life? What effect aside from altering your internal self?
You have the capacity to change and be a new person.
Let it go. You can’t change it anyway.
I get really intrusive memories of all the bad times I have had in my life. Memories that cause self criticism… They have gotten so bad that I speak out loud - swearing and snarling at whatever/whoever picked these memories out. Is horrible
You are a good guy @seriouslydisturbed. You (and everyone else on this site) don’t deserve this ■■■■.
if it helps I have an embarrassing moment that ended up on youtube for a while…before my lawyer finally managed to get the site to take it down…its prolly still out there somewhere…
You know those stories about girls who trick a guy into getting naked thinking they will getting some then they go and do something really cruel? For me it was having her gay friend walk in from the room she had walked out from, she snapped photos and took video…then posted it.
It was embarrassing as hell two years ago when it happened, but you know? I managed to get over it, tho sometimes I get paranoid about showing back up…
I like to face embarrassment by showing all to everyone so that nothing more can be said. And well in the end it looks pretty good.