real gory stories of having been terribly tortured as a baby by my babysitter and some accomplices she conjured up.
includes traumatic brain injury and terrible injury to my hands.
I rationalize that my brain isn’t injured in that way it is just a sz brain – I can walk and talk etc.
it probably didn’t happen but I worry about it and scheme to find out what really happened.
judy
false memories and delusions are the hardest for me too. I also hate it when I’m completely sure of two conflicting events. Logically I should be able to rationalize that it’s a false memory. But my mind won’t let things go.
I’m sorry this is hitting you. I hope you can feel better soon and hopefully your mind will let it go soon.
It gets really frustrating… trying to find out what really happened… only to realize that none of it ever happened… Of course my mind doesn’t settle down until AFTER I’ve made a jerk of myself and accused my family of some pretty horrid behavior.
thanks surprisedj. I don’t know why my mind is holding onto these delusions either.
how are you doing lately?
judy
Did you have a pediatrician who is still practicing? Maybe he would have some answers for you.
pob, nope I don’t believe he’s around anymore.
I even wanted to go to the police to find out if some records were there regarding these “events” of persecution but I didn’t dare. probably it’s a good thing I didn’t.
judy
Thank you for asking.
I think I’m getting some of the reoccurring false memories untangled.
I sure do hate it when I wake up feeling angry at someone for something that I’m not even sure really happened.
I would LIKE to think I’m getting some of the sneaky brained thinking under control.
can’t you just ask you mother? i think i would know about it if my kids were seriously injured when they were babies. brain damage would have been an e.r. trip and admittance to your local hospital or specialized neuropathy unit. it’s not something your mum would forget. you notice changes in your babies behaviour. just so you know, even just shaking a baby forcefully can kill it so i doubt very much that whatever happened, if it did was that bad to have caused brain damage or you would’ve been in hospital for a long time. if there were brain damage then their would’ve been bleeding insde the skull and i don’t think your mother would forget something like that to be honest. so ask her. then you’ll know one way or another. good luck.
no Jayne I cannot. she doesn’t believe in open and honest communication, especially not with me since I have sz.
that’s just the way it is for me here. oh well. I wish it were otherwise.
judy
ok, then all you need to do is request a copy of your medical records. i don’t know if the cost is prohibitive where you are but that would show any and all hospital admissions. good luck with your search hunni x
thanks jaynebeal. good idea. judy