There have been some embarrassing times, me shouting on buses at people thinking they were looking/speaking about me and paranoid about their intentions. Cutting microchips out my left armpit and the many ranting emails I have sent to people. I can’t read any of my reports as it’s embarrassing I was like that.
I have never had to have an assessment for my disability benefits, always paper based. Reading what my community nurse writes makes me sound very ill, when I don’t think I’m that ill really? I have intensive support from community nursing and live in a group home, forced to take meds, no mental capacity over my finances, but I travel abroad on my own, it’s kinda a conundrum. On paper I’m severely ill but I’m very able when well. I guess they are scared of me getting ill as the microchip self harm was extreme, I had the air ambulance paramedics come out.
Do you think given my history thats why I get intensive support still ongoing for 14 years and continuing to get intensive support? Because of the mirowchips?
You still have a problem with being in denial about your illness. You’ve posted these type of threads before so I don’t think anything I say is going to change your mind or make a difference. But if you want an objective opinion you were pretty ill and judging from your freakout on your last vacation you are still ill. I don’t know what the staff or the people who give you benefits think of you, all I can say is they don’t give benefits and intensive support to someone for no reason so they must take all your problems into account and judge that you’re ill. I’m not putting you down I’m just saying what it seems like.
That’s not surprising at all. It goes back to my theory that in my experience no one is a 100% ill, everybody, no matter how ill still faces reality at least little. There’s many people on here who are very ill but still function enough to work, go to school, like independently, drive a car or whatever so you are not unique in that regard.
Hell, I myself work, just graduated college, and live independently but I still have big problems. I’m ill but there’s areas of life I’m good at and there’s areas that I lack in. I really don’t know how ill you are but it’s not surprising to me that you can do other things well. It doesn’t make you any less ill, you should just be thankful that you can socialize and go out to eat and stuff. But thinking nothing is wrong with you and that nothing was ever wrong with you is rather extreme and all the evidence points towards the contrary.
Thats why I continue to take the injection every month. I don’t want to be like I used to be. I hate reading the community treatment order tribunal reports. I haven’t been to a tribunal in person for many years as I’m embarrassed by what they say.
I lived with SZ diagnosed people who don’t function well at all, I have personally seen the destruction in their lives so I’m very thankful I can function well.