I'm depressed and in debt

DX'd - Other
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I Need to Become Financially Independent

I’m in debt and I’m not sure what to do. So I’m working on ways to make money as a freelancer. I was dreaming of ways to make money last night. I could sell a bunch of stuff. One of my dad’s guitars is probably more expensive then my credit card debt in its entirety, just saying. I could sell my xbox360, and video games. Some books on amazon. Start making crafts on Etsy. I don’t think I got the job I applied and interviewed for but I was confident about it.

I’m so stressed out. My dad told me it would take me two years to pay off my credit card debt. I owe under $700 currently and he’s not going to help me pay it back. I’m being controlled by money, and he’s also telling me not to hang out with my friends anymore but I’m 25 and sick of feeling trapped. My plan is to move to NYC with my friends and try and make it there and have a life of my own. The friend who invited me is leaving in November and visiting in August. He said he will help me with the credit card debt.

I’m sick of being around my insane mom, believing that I’m crazy and having no freedom to express my beliefs and my true dreams and desires. All my ideas are being shut down. I’m told being a writer or artist and all is not a worthy education or career to pursue. I just don’t feel inspired here. I feel trapped and sheltered. I hate it here. There’s nothing to do. So I got a credit card because I never have money for myself to get my hair done or buy a little extra to pamper myself once in awhile. I barely have any clothes to wear. I just want freedom. But I can’t live at home like this and feel free, even with a job that pays well.

I’ve been told what my father is doing is wrong. I’m not sure what to make of it. He told me not to go back to college and not use my scholarship to go back. I went back and now I owe my scholarship as well because I dropped out when my friend died for a semester. They thought I was fully withdrawing.

So now I owe them over $1,000. My dad on on hand, is paying for everything and on the other limiting what I can buy and what I can do. I get $30 every week day. I hate it. If I had a job I would have more money. It’s just keeping me trapped. I don’t feel encouraged at all. I’m used to sitting at home doing nothing and I hate it. I’m told to spend all this time looking for jobs but I’ve never held a full time job.

I have severe anxiety and I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. But it’s all a joke anyways because I’m not disabled and I don’t even get psychotic much. I’d have to do a lot of hard drugs for that to even come close to happening. Of course, anti-psychotics change your brain structure and cause dependancy. So I am dependent on a system that is completely destroying my life. I’m dependent on a system that keeps me sick and financially dependent on my family to survive without going insane.

It’s ■■■■■■■ wrong. I am afraid to leave home because I’m told it’s too much pressure or will cause me to break down. I have no desire to work at this ■■■■ jobs because I have no desire to do anything anyways.

I’m oppressed to the point of suicidal depression. Listening to a borderline maniac rant about bodies switched and all this crazy stuff. It’s not working. It’s not helping. I don’t even have any normalcy to base my sanity off of! I’m the only one feeding our cat. My dad is mostly away on business trips over seas and leaves me at home all the time to figure ■■■■ out. He’s also taking a vacation to Brazil with his friends. No family vacations. My mom wasn’t even invited to the cabin for the fourth of july and she wanted to come.

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I was wondering… Are you back on meds? How are they working for you? I do hope you find some relief soon

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I am back on them and finding relief. I’m just really overwhelmed and frustrated in finding work.

Do you think it’s a good idea or that it would be dangerous to move to NYC? I’d basically be leaving everything behind and starting a new life of my own. It’s depressing here in West Virginia.

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Well personally even though my brother and other family members can be a pain in the butt for me at times. they are still family, and its always a good idea for me to stay close to familiar (family) members. I mean I never know when I will go off the deep end again, at least I do know that their is some trust between us, and they would help me just in case - going off alone to a place like NYC (I live close to New York - and have visited many times before) can be a very confusing fast paced environment, not a very welcoming quiet place - I personally would not be able to function there

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NYC is SO triggering for me. There are tons of people everywhere, the population is very dense, the culture probably isn’t as friendly as West Virginia, and the cost of living is very high.

I would certainly fear that your financial problems would be worsened by the move to NYC. Unless you got a very high-paying job once you got there.

Personally, I would try to pay off my debt before even considering moving. And make sure that you are very stable on meds.

Try to write your plans down and analyze them one by one. That should help put your finances, career or educational goals, and moving into perspective.

Blessings,

Anthony

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Yes I do agree with Anthony -

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Ok. I feel God is telling me not to go. There were a lot of signs that this idea was going to be offered to me and that it was a dangerous idea. I’m having trouble because the friend who wants me to move with him is part of the reason I’m in credit card debt. I am so impulsive I have trouble being alone vs. being with them. Him and some of his friends have hurt me a lot over the past two years.

This friend also is the one who told me to stop taking my medication and that I was better off it.

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Have you ever heard of Dave Ramsey? He has a radio show (and more importantly has written a book) on how to get out of debt. I haven’t bought the book but I have listened to his show. It isn’t a scam. There is a workshop you can go to and a book you can follow. One of the things he say to do he calls “scorched earth”. You live off of beans and rice (in other words the cheapest food you can find), sell anything you have of value, cut all of your expenses (not stuff like medicine. Stuff like 'oh that eye shadow looks so pretty) I mean all of it. Until you pay off your debt. And then you start saving 3 month worth of expenses in the bank in case you lose your job or have an emergency (tires wearing out isn’t an emergency. That’s something you save for before the problem starts.) Then you start building your retirement account.

I would recommend getting the book. The radio show is basically people calling in because something is going on and they aren’t sure what decision to make. Like a relative died and left them some heirlooms and they want an outside opinion if they should sell them to get rid of some of the debt or keep them. Sometimes it’s hard to make that call on your own.

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Anthony is right. A move cost money. Credit cards are too easy to run up.I’ve done it many times myself. If you are not employed or if you are not getting benefits, then a credit card is a bad idea.

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i wish i was only under 700 in debt…but i have nothing of real value to sell. an old computer, an older TV that was used when I got it, the newer tv and wii are both over 5 years old and belong to my parents. I’m not very crafty with stuff, no clue how to make things. I can’t cook (i.e. start a baking business or whatever).

I’ve even considered the sex industry but I’m so fat and ugly (really fat, ugly just may be in my head) I don’t think anyone would hire me…besides I really don’t want to go down that road. I’m, not a prude, I’m still a virgin but that’s more by personal choice and lack of desirable options rather than religious reasons.

That’s why I’m pushing myself so hard to get my book written, but it’s putting an awful amount of stress on me and I’ve been overly depressed and having small relapses with hallucinations whatnot because of it.

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I think my son feels that way sometimes too.
Its very important to feel your living your own life. Maybe take a small step. Find a small affordable studio apartment near by-see how that works out. Credit cards are horrible! It is like buying your future away. Are you able to get section 8 housing? That cuts rent by more then half. Its a bit of a hassle to get it-but worth it

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NYC would scare the you know what out of me. Morgantown, West Virginia looks like a very nice place to live. Went through there on a school trip. :car:

  • Shop at Goodwill. You can get t shirts for $2.25. They even have 50%off days.
  • No fast food. Buy a used crock pot and cook at home.
  • Get rid of the car. Use a monthly bus pass.
  • Shop at Dollar Tree
  • Use vinegar+baking soda for house cleaning
  • Put yourself on a monthly budget. Stick to that budget

Read

Plenty of DIY projects+financial advise on that website. :house:

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It would be good to get out of that town where you have seemed to have nothing but trouble the past couple years. Are the friends cool enough you can trust and dont get you to do drugs or steal your stuff or other things some have done? NYC is intense. I personally wouldnt ever go but some people do. It takes a rare breed to live there. It is loaded with energy of all kinds, just buzzing with it.
people come right up to you to sell stuff, bum stuff, there are pickpockets and purse snatchers, and all sort of people both good and bad and you never know who is who. And there are gangs of many kinds…
You’d probably do better in Bellingham Washington, a small city but its a college town with a bunch of pretty cool people, coffee houses, alternative shops, easy to get along in. Theres a temp work place that pays same day pay… (Labor ready) I made over $500 my first week working out of there back in 2000.

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Don’t do prostitution! It would probably leave you with a ton of scars that will take way more therapy to start to overcome. Besides the chance of STDs, pregnancy and stuff.

I read “The Happy Hooker” a year or two ago. She really enjoyed being a prostitute and eventually ran a brothel in NYC while still working. The thing is though that she really, really, really liked sex. You could also probably toss a few more really s in there. She slept with a lot of people (for free) before deciding to do that. It wasn’t a she had nowhere else to turn thing either. I don’t think there is anything wrong with prostitution as long as the people are doing it of their own free will and they don’t do it because it is their only place to turn. I think people who would enjoy it are rare though.

We read stories of human sex trafficking in one of my political science classes. There is always the chance that you might attract the attention of the wrong people and get in lots of trouble and really hurt.

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@onceapoet No I will never do that,

I’ve seen enough crime shows on TV to warn me against doing anything that dangerous. It’s just crossed my mind occasionally when I get depressed because off all the bill collection calls. But it is not something I would ever do in real life. I’m Catholic and while I think if I was in a serious relationship with someone and truly liked them I wouldn’t hold back sex but I haven’t been in that situation before so actually I’m still a virgin. It’s not really because of religious reasoning, maybe it is I don’t know. Maybe it’s my illness because I don’t have a huge sex drive at all. I get moods where I feel a certain way but they usually pass with a day or so, and aren’t very frequent.

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I didn’t think you would, but I was worried. People will do anything when they are desperate. I’m not saying that in an I’m looking down on them way. I’m saying it in a shivering because that could very well be me some day.

I understand where you are coming from with the sex thing. I am the same way. I had never been with anyone before C. Not because I didn’t have urges but because even more than love (which I wanted too) I wanted someone I could trust. I was on Abilify and still incapable of real love even when he proposed to me on Valentines day (a couple of months shy of a year). Part of what compelled me was I have also seen a lot of those tv shows and I was aware of the statistics of being raped and I wanted my first time to be something I could look back on and be happy about.

When you decide that is what you want, just know that some meds can cause sexual dysfunction like not physically getting much out of it or anything like that.

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you could prob make use of a job. Sometimes it takes awhile, sometimes not. NYC may or may not be a feasible way to do that, but you definitely are going to want to do that (meaning work), at least. consider alternatives.

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Not sure if this would work for you, but if you have any elderly neighbors or relatives that need groceries, rides to drs. appts., or cleaning maybe you can help them out for a small fee. I’ve known several people that have done basic home health care stuff on their own and have done pretty well for themselves. Not sure if you need a license to do some things but it seems there are a lot of shut ins that need food and would appreciate visitors. Just make sure you keep everything legit as far as taxes and other regulations go.

I don’t ask for it, but my 90 year old dad usually gives me an additional 15% of the bill when I get his groceries. I used to deliver groceries for a business as a summer job in college but it was pretty hard work. Much better to do things on your own for individuals in my opinion.

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only problem with that is I can’t drive…I’ve thought about offering neighbors to walk their dogs during the day while I’m at home and they’re not but there are tons of dogs in this apartment complex and I wouldn’t be able to just hand select dogs, I’d have to accept every dog, and i can only handle smaller ones. (I’ve owned big dogs in the past and had trouble controlling them even though they were mild in manor).

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Couldn’t you tell people you can only handle smaller dogs if you wanted to do that?

You would have not been able to handle my white wolf/husky mix…She was 80 - 85 pounds and solid muscle. I’m over 200 and pretty strong and she could pull me around if I didn’t pay attention. Sometimes we got in a tug of war with the leash and i would have to plant my feet and wrestle…
One day she saw 2 of the big neighbor dogs and lunged for them and pulled me about 20 feet before I could plant myself and reign her in…
She got loose one time and went over and beat up all 3 of the neighbors dogs that were her size and came back wagging her tail…

Her name was White Bear…you can see why, she would often stand like this

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