Everyone's Tearing Me Down Left and Right IRL


I’m beginning to get really overwhelmed by this pressure. So, my psychiatrist hasn’t faxed my prescriptions or they weren’t ready, and the pharmacist claimed I said to put Abilify back when I said to refill it, but that it was a new lowered dose. The fact that she told my father I asked her to put it back confuses me. They also didn’t fill Vistaril. So all I got was Adderall today.

I feel fine though, but my dad is treating me like I’m turning into a monster and nothing I do is good enough ever. I saved up constantly this week, but I got a call from the collections agency so I had to pay my $100 monthly bill, for the second time so I’ve put $200 towards a $1,000 shepherd bill this year. I’m sorta in debt but it’s only for a refund check. I’ve never had over $1,000 in my bank account, so having a refund check made me get overly excited.

I haven’t been advised on how to do accounting or pay income tax. I didn’t even know I was supposed to file for income tax and I’m turning 26 in January, so like wtf. I’m not used to being independent, I’m used to being controlled and treated like a child. So this is a difficult adjustment. I’m realizing that doing what my father says all the time doesn’t necessarily benefit my personal needs or interests. I don’t want to live here anymore, either.

I want to move to the city or somewhere more diverse and populated.

So I have a few plans in order of how to become fully independent of my family, without relying on them for finances AKA being financially controlled, and if I don’t do what he wants with my life I’ll be disowned or cut off. He’s threatened to disown me and cut me off almost four times. I know he’s frustrated, but he never admits to anything and he takes everything out of context!

If he seriously wants me to use good judgement, he should stop judging everything I do on my own without his say or input beccause I’m tired of feeling powerless.

While my own friends get on my case about bitching when they don’t have gas money or that I do this and that, these are things my dad is telling me are going on-

And my biggest fear would be that if I moved back home at 25 or continued living there, that I would become unmotivated and depressed, that I would lose time, and get trapped in this house. I need financial support to leave, which I do not have. I have no financial resources at all. No help from grandparents or aunts or uncles, I feel cut off and I don’t feel like my dad cares that I’m trying and that I can’t function under his control.

I don’t even want to work at a restaurant. I hate my life. I want to leave this ■■■■■■■ shithole place and move somewhere where I can actually effing breathe!


you are young. I suggest you pay off your debt before moving out, that could be a real bad burden if you were on your own. I would suggest moving in with a friend? I split my bills with my girlfriend otherwise I would be very poor living here alone. Something to think about. Moving out for you would be huge because it sounds like you are used to a controlled environment? Good luck @StarryNight


Thanks Jukebox, yeah my dad and I had an argument this evening, but it makes it difficult. I still see where he comes from. He wants me to be financially independent of people, him included, and also not to be walked all over upon. I can see why it upsets him because he knows I’m getting older and that I need to move out, but that I can’t live on my own if I don’t manage well. I think that’s why he limits my spending etc. But it has helped, and I have begun saving a lot more.


Trust your father, he only wants you to be happy deep down but a father must do things or say things that maybe the daughter doesn’t really want to hear, but she must hear them? don’t listen to me, I’ve only been a step dad in my life but I understand my own father. or at least I used to. me and my father are very distant and he is getting older now and can’t hear anymore. My mother and I are close. when I first got stable after being ill I lived with my mom on her cattle farm and had to do a lot of chores around the farm which in fact was good for me but at that time I hated my life. I was supposed to be an architect. I later accepted that. Do you think you’ve accepted your illness? Do you think you are completely stable right now?


Well TBH I’m not sure how to define stable. If by stable you mean not having symptoms of bipolar or schizophrenia, yes I am stable. I am not hallucinating, I’m thinking clearly, and I’m motivating myself at a new job. I’m happier, confident that I’m doing well and I’m working towards financial independence. I simply tend to have trouble working because this disorder prevented me from gaining a lot of knowledge as a teen and now that I’m almost twenty-six, I’m expected to know everything when my dad’s traveling the world all the time.

I’m extremely happy with the prospect of getting a job and supporting myself. I want to live in a small town house close to work, start socializing with new people, and present myself in a good way, but people are tearing me down left and right.

I am the only one who really gets me, who is constantly pushing me to do things. I have no one else who has time to help other than my close friends who he hates and wants me not to be around.


I guess the only constructive advice I have is to take this transition from dependent to independent slowly. I jumped out of care from my mom and I wasn’t ready to do it but after I jumped mom made me stay away so I had to learn how to live on my check. I wish you luck with your job. I don’t work nor could I ever work. agoraphobic and PTSD are two main reasons with other reasons but don’t feel like going into it. anyways, good for you on working.