Maybe you need to focus your eye on the prize, that is, on the date she can go to a home. It won’t be forever. You could start a count down to the day. Every day you’ll be that much closer. Try taking care of yourself too: walks, hot baths, venting online, talk to a therapist… theirs lots of options for self-care. You got this. You can do it. It’s temporary. Good luck!
I used to be a caregiver for my grandfather. I had to lift, watch, and change diapers at least 3 times a day. It restricted me but gave me something to do and preoccupy the mind. I ended up leaving after a year because of issues with my grandmother and uncle. I think a good home would be best if you can afford it. My uncle didn’t help much and ended up pissing me off for not caring enough and other stuff like inserting his opinion into matters that didn’t concern him.
As a fellow schizophrenic, I can see how much added stress you have. It’s probably best to handle things sooner than later and if you can wait till she is put in a good home.
I am so sorry you are under such stress !! that can’t be good for you. tell your husband to help with the bathroom duties instead of you…it’s his mother for crying out loud…you need more help from him.
My grandpa is getting to this point. He can’t make any food on his own, so we have to cook for him. His cognitive skills are going, and he can barely walk even with his walker. Somehow, he can still drive, but I think that might change pretty soon. He had a stroke 2 years ago but refused rehab. Anyway, even having to deal with these small aspects of caring for him are frustrating to deal with, so I can only imagine how hard this is for you. Do you have any friends that can help with things? For the record, I don’t believe you’re being selfish or inconsiderate. I think you’re doing the best you can in a shitty situation. You just have to make it until you can get her into a care facility. Take it one day at a time, and be gentle with yourself. This stressful time will be over soon. Hang in there.