Really need to persuade her to do more for herself by saying you’ll put her in an assisted living facility otherwise. Have to put your foot down. Bring up the biggest pain points and say that if these aren’t fixed she has to go. You’re suffering enough with schizophrenia, this is just too much.
You need to politely and firmly make a stand. Create healthy boundaries, you dont have to necessarily deal in absolutes here. If she asks you to do something that she is capable of doing explain to her that she needs to do it. She may fuss and scream and think you’re mean, but that’s okay.
You have to stand up for yourself, but you can do it in a polite manner.
I hate seeing you go through this. My husband and I almost divorced our the same type of thing. You have to let him know you are thinking of leaving or he won’t take things serious enough.
Or you’ll just have to actually leave to wake him up and make him get her out some way. Can you afford a few days at a hotel or stay with friends?
It sounds as though there is very little you can do about it. So just come here and vent as much as you want. We will listen. Talk to your hubby about it, too. He needs to know what you are feeling.
You need to be removed from the problem to deal with it. No way you can make measured or rational decisions when you’re standing in a school of piranha. Get to shore first, heal up a bit, then figure out how you’re crossing that river.