I’m getting depressed,
I hate that I agreed to let her live here,
I hate the sound of her walker that she doesn’t need,
I hate feeding her all her meals even though she’s capable of getting them herself,
I hate hate hate that this is my life now.
We already talked to her about our expectations,
What else can we effing do?
She’s a burden and doesn’t care how much she drags me down.
I’ll be cooking and she’ll want something different,
Needs a sauce,
Wants more carbs.
She treats me like some sort of servant.
I don’t know what to do,
I’m truly at a complete loss.
It looks like we won’t be able to put her in a home,
There’s technically nothing wrong with her aside from very livable kidney issues.
This situation has got me thinking about how I can leave my husband.
I don’t want to leave my husband,
I love him.
I wouldn’t be putting up with this ■■■■ if I didn’t.
What can I do?
We’ve talked to her,
wow… a difficult situation
Really need to persuade her to do more for herself by saying you’ll put her in an assisted living facility otherwise. Have to put your foot down. Bring up the biggest pain points and say that if these aren’t fixed she has to go. You’re suffering enough with schizophrenia, this is just too much.
I really do understand
Can you hire some help like a home health aide?
Even if it’s part time.
Make sure you are taking care of your needs.
Having a mi and being a caregiver is really tough.
I wish I had more advice to give you.
Take care of yourself!
Where was she living before the accident ? When she’s recovered surely she’ll move back there ?
Yeah, this really is a tough situation.
Definitely talk to your husband about how the whole situation is making you feel.
Living with other people can be tough, especially if you don’t really know their personality. I know that much from my own experiences.
So, she never leaves the house at all?
We had a home health aide and there was really nothing for them to do,
She wasn’t near as bossy with her as she is with me.
She was living with her mother in Texas before the incident,
And she’s not super welcome to go back.
Her mother likes living alone and my mother in law is just too much for her to deal with.
So its only us.
No, she NEVER leaves the house.
Only for the rare doctor’s appointment ever couple months.
What gets me is the little things,
Like just now she asked me to call in some prescription refills for her.
Why the hell can she not do that?
Guess I just needed to vent.
No need to apologize
You are going through a lot.
You need to politely and firmly make a stand. Create healthy boundaries, you dont have to necessarily deal in absolutes here. If she asks you to do something that she is capable of doing explain to her that she needs to do it. She may fuss and scream and think you’re mean, but that’s okay.
You have to stand up for yourself, but you can do it in a polite manner.
We’ve talked to her,
How much to rent a furnished room nearby? Move out.
His parent, let him fix it.
You can kick her in her teeth and tell her to toughen up.
I hate seeing you go through this. My husband and I almost divorced our the same type of thing. You have to let him know you are thinking of leaving or he won’t take things serious enough.
Or you’ll just have to actually leave to wake him up and make him get her out some way. Can you afford a few days at a hotel or stay with friends?
He’s been alone with her,
He knows what I’m dealing with so I feel like he’s taking it seriously.
But maybe you’re right, maybe I should stay with a friend or something for a few days,
To get my point across and get a break.
It sounds as though there is very little you can do about it. So just come here and vent as much as you want. We will listen. Talk to your hubby about it, too. He needs to know what you are feeling.
Taking breaks is important.
I’m thinking about it.
You need to be removed from the problem to deal with it. No way you can make measured or rational decisions when you’re standing in a school of piranha. Get to shore first, heal up a bit, then figure out how you’re crossing that river.