It’s an awful truth. I don’t know what to do to end this ride. I get rid of one addiction just to have another on take it’s place. Normal everyday things turn into addictions for me and I’m sick of it. I want to be free. I don’t know if I need a 12 step program or what but something has to change. I can’t keep doing this. It’s maddening. I feel like I’m letting my husband down. He used to be so proud of me for fighting the good fight. Now I think he’s looking down on me because the addictions just keep coming. Nothing really ever changes, I’m just a big ole loser addict. ffs I better shut up before I get addicted to whining on the internet.
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What’s your latest addiction @tera?
Maybe you can nip it in the bud.
My addiction is food.
I over eat a lot.
Your not a loser.
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Hey @tera addictions aren’t so bad, they can give meaning to life, but if they’re not healthy then you should try CBT. It’s supposed to work well with addictions and helps you understand the pattern of addiction and it’s triggers. Basically it comes down to the triggers. Wishing you all the best
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I’m an addict too @tera. I feel you. You’re not a loser. One thing I read about sz is that we’re prone to addiction. That’s not to blame the illness because we have to take personal responsibility otherwise we’ll never change, but it explains it to some extent.
Just know you’re not alone. I’m with you xxx
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right now my current addictions are pain meds, marijuana, sugar, chocolate, diet pepsi, online shopping, Twenty-One Pilots, online gambling (I’m addicted to real gambling but am currently not using) and Ativan
Last night I got a shipping notification from an online purchase I don’t even remember making, it really upset me, my husband was very concerned. I guess I need to close all my credit cards so I don’t buy anything else, deep sigh.
I don’t think I could do the 12 step program because I don’t believe in a higher power and that’s pretty important to that program. I just want to be free from all of it.
Don’t give up on the 12 step program.
You don’t have to believe in a God to join.
Your higher power could be anyone or anything you believe in.
You can do this!
If I remember correctly, your sza right? Is it possible you’re manic right now? Is your mood stabiliser working, do you maybe need to talk to your pdoc about wither upping the dose or changing med?
Yes I do have sza. My mood seems pretty stable now that I got the Wellbutrin out of my system. I have addictions even if I have no mood issues going on. I’m seriously just a big ole addict. If it didn’t cause so many problems it would be kinda comical. I mean come on I got addicted to freaking diet pepsi, wtf.
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My latest addiction is fast food. It replaced porn. Lesser of two evils I guess.
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Even the potato god, @tera
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My main problem with worshipping the one true potato is I always chop him up, fry him and eat him, did I forget to mention I’m addicted to fried potatoes.lol
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Yeah I’ve been there. Been addicted to herion (opiates) and benzos at the same time in the past. Now just replaced those addictions with suboxone addiction.
I’m hooked on them now, Go to a doctor every 3 weeks to get them, but I still do dip into benzos every once in awhile when I can find them. Just have to learn to understand that those addictions ruin your life and make you miserable.
Can tear a marriage apart for sure. If you can’t do it on your own then think about going to a suboxone doctor to curb the opiate cravings, then your going to have to fight the benzo addiction cause no box doctor will let you take those with that, cause it can cause OD and death.
If you don’t want to do that cause you don’t want to get hooked on them, then your just going to have to suck it up, and say “I have a wonderful family that I don’t want to lose” so therefore I will give up the drugs. It will be hard, but just keep telling yourself you’ll be way more happy everyday not relying on something to wake up too and use all throughout the day.
This may not be a popular oppinion… but to kick opiates i smoked weed and slept alot…i know the current system would rather give you subutex or suboxone… but i tried those and they were so strong i felt like i was trading a monkey on my back for an elephant…
Picking up a hobby also helps… i wish you well opiates are a pain in the ass to kick…
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Your not lying bud. I’m so used to them now, they do nothing for me. Just need them now so I don’t get sick. The only thing I can say they do is curb the opiate cravings. Compared to when I first started taking them and would be wound for sound after taking a quarter.
Your probably right, these things aren’t to be messed with. The withdrawl from them is just as horrible as opiates if not worse. I was really bad on Herion (opiates) and benzos I needed something to curb the withdrawl and box did that, but do I regret taking and getting hooked on them now? Yes, cause I know I have a Month or more worth of pain coming to me when I stop cold turkey. Although hopefully my doc will taper me down asap
You’re not alone. Many addicts and alcoholics are vulnerable to cross addictions. I got clean in 1990 through AA, CA and NA.
You’re not on abilify by any chance? That can cause compulsive behaviour in some people.
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no I’m not, this addictive behavior has been lifelong.
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I’m not addicted to food, and I can control my sugar addiction. I have complete control over it. I’m not addicted to caffeine, I drink decaf. I could be addicted to alcohol except that it interferes with my sleep at night, so, I don’t drink it very often. Only rarely. I hate cigarettes with a passion. And marijuana makes me psychotic so, I avoid it. And I’m only on a tiny dose of benzo, so, I doubt there’s an addiction there.
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Tera, I’m so sorry your struggling with these addictions. I can really relate. 
One thing that’s helped me some is Smart Recovery. They have online and in person meetings. And there isn’t any focus on a higher power. I like that. www.smartrecovery.org
PS Smart Recovery program is suitable for all addictions.
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