Still living with my parents. (Who are toxic with serious issues of their own-they love me but are very difficult to live with) I struggle massively to feed myself-I have sensory processing issues & food sensitivities & my family does not care so they rarely if ever have food for me, sometimes my husband & I can afford our own groceries but if not I basically just drink sugary alcoholic beverages all day to keep from feeling sick from hunger. I realize this is terrible for me. Regularly I am using edibles again too. THC ones. While I realize they have a huge negative impact on my life-make it harder for me to remember to take my meds, has caused psychosis & mania, big GI problems, financial problems, makes it way harder for me to get a job and basically ruined/ended my nursing career, I cannot seem to stop using them. My life is miserable and difficult & it feels like they are one of the only things that helps me through.
I badly want to stop using all substances but it’s like my brain has been conditioned to think the absence of extreme pleasure (caused by the substances) is pain. It is horrible to be sober now. I definitely recommend to any who haven’t tried substances to NEVER TRY THEM because they totally mess up your brain’s reward and happiness system.
Husband barely makes enough money for us to get by every month. He is hopeful for some career advancement this year and I hope so. I feel really discouraged and just in a bad and sad place right now. I just want us to have a house of our own and a happy life.
I used substances addictively as a youth. I am not currently suffering from that predicament. I’ve had other serious problems. Right now I’m past that too. I got help from a group of people for my addiction issues and still today I often want to use. I attribute it to my not working a program. But I believe in the twelve steps. If you don’t want to go to a meeting at least but some AA or NA literature. I believe it is the most successful way to quit.
I treat addiction just like I treat mental illness. It’s a medical issue. I just stopped alcohol and THC and CBD and nicotine. I substitute it with vitamin supplements exercise and playing music. I quit everything cold turkey. There are medication’s for nicotine addiction and alcohol addiction and opiate addiction and things like that.I felt the same as you I couldn’t imagine my day without them regardless or the rest of my life without them. Since I stopped them I feel even better than I did when I was using them surprisingly.