Luckily I was in the middle of talking with a really good friend who was there for me. I really wanted to use meth. I think if I wasn’t talking to my friend online at the time it could have ended up badly. It sort of hit me like a wave in a way, like a rush out of the blue.
I was tired and hungry. I remember hearing from someone in AA you shouldn’t let yourself get tired or hungry, or something like that. Anyway, I didn’t use and that’s what matters. Then after it passed I threw out some paraphernalia that I still had. Should have already thrown it out but wasn’t quite ready I guess.
Thanks @77nick77 for clearing that up. I couldn’t quite remember never having gone through the twelve steps myself personally. But I think that’s super good advice.
It was, and I always had it in the back of my mind what if someone found it? Then they would know I’ve been using. I’m so glad it’s gone. I can’t tell you how final that makes it feel by comparison.
The week before Starlet moved in, I finally threw out my stash of pain pills. I hadn’t touched them in about 10 years at that point, and they were probably all expired and useless, but I hadn’t been able to toss them before that moment. It was very scary, but very liberating.
I was never really addicted. I was getting to a danger point after my surgery, so my doctor cut me off. I am very grateful to him for that, even if at the time I was furious because I still had pretty severe pain.
I was addicted mildly to pain pills but I called my doctor and told her I was abusing them and she cut me off. It wasn’t fun going cold turkey. And that was mild use. I still can get carried away very easily if there’s a medical need for them so I just steer clear of opiates.
I now take a medication that’s sort of like a really strong Ibuprophen, I can never remember the name Diclofenac or something like that, not addictive, but I’m trying to get off it anyway.
I have myself listed as allergic to codeine because every time I’ve taken it I’ve had a major psychotic episode. My first psychotic episode at 16 was from codeine. It was beyond horrible.