I just got in a screaming match with my boyfriend. He wanted to take a nap so I was hurrying up in the bedroom getting my stuff together so I can go for a walk, then he started freaking out and stormed out of the room. He told me to get away from him and that I need to move out. I feel so helpless and wish I had some kind of support system that I can get in touch with now. My negative symptoms are really bad and I feel so unmotivated to do anything and I think I just ruined my relationship with my boyfriend. He was getting distant and distant, now it’s really bad. I don’t want to live life. I burned all my Bridges with everyone in my life
I don’t live with my boyfriend, but I don’t always get along with my family so I can understand. Can you afford to get your own place? Would you want to move out if you could?
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You should start looking for rooms to rent. Even if he says you can keep living with him, that’s really not a healthy relationship.
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I’m too afraid to sleep alone and walk into an empty house
I’m sorry, but that might be the only option for now. Your relationship with your bf doesn’t sound healthy, and definitely not good for your mental state.
If he wants you out, it’s gonna show in his behaviour, and that will hurt more for each day.
Even though you hate sleeping alone, you might have to get used to it, and take some extra prn to calm you down in the evening.
You can’t stay with him out of fear. It won’t be healthy.
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Remain with him, you are too vulnerable to live alone and when he says go out of the house he doesn’t really mean it,cause he said that before too, separation is not sth easy and you need him now, work on your relationship and try to fix it, when he fights you don’t fight back, try to calm the situation, dont engage in the war of who’s more powerful in fights, don’t let your life to ruin, be patient,
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He may be just having bad time with his symptoms. Maybe his med isn’t working out properly
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Try to take a different attitude towards living alone there are some good things about living alone
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@Pikasaur I can see where you are coming from
@aliali you seem to be very wise about this. I’m working on it. We both have stressors in our life, and one big one is his brother. My bf doesn’t like the way the brother treats me and how condescending and arrogant he is, so he is passive about it. The both of us get no privacy with the brother around, and we always have to appease him. Then when we are left with eachother our relationship is better. The both of us need to work on moving out.
@Ale he is he has a lot going on, a lot of depression and racing thoughts. His father who passed away has the same birthday as my mom so its really taking a toll on him especially since this birthday is special to my mom. shes going to be 50. We were picking out a birthday card together, and he started crying because his mom passed too so it was emotional. I just have to let him ride the wave. I hate to see him hurt.
Today I was really dragging because I didn’t get my energy drink in so I couldn’t function until I got one a half hour ago. They get rid of the brain fog, and sluggishness, and not able to think and depression. Energy drinks keep me together.
@shellys12 I thought about it, but like alilai said I’m too vulnerable. But thanks for trying to give me another perspective
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hey it sounds like youre going through a tough time at the moment. its getting really hot outside and people are going to get in arguments, dont worry maybe both of you just need to chill out for a bit and youll talk later
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thanks I’m giving him his space. Luckily we have Air Conditioning.
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Are you ok now @Winterblues? Have you calmed down yet? If he does make you move out can you look into group homes?
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Yea now that his brother is gone to work there is less tension, and a more freeing feeling. I don’t like random shows on tv, they annoy me, I couldn’t get peace. Plus like @anon92887483 said its too hot to even go for a walk, and my bf was exhausted and sick from the heat too. So their was a lot of tension. Even last night he said, want to drive around to look at the fireworks? I said yea let me pee real quick. He freaked out and flipped his shoes off, and said forget it. I went about using the bathroom, then he snapped back to normal getting his shoes back on. Like I said with all the reminders of his parents its taking a toll on him, and he cant cope. I’m not smothering him, but he needs extra space. Luckily tomorrow I’m going out of town for the day with my mom and sister so that will give him some time.
It’s hard dealing with anger outbursts and the blah feeling I had before the energy drink, and I felt so sedated and irritable, so I am calmed down and clearheaded now
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I’m glad you’re clear-minded and able to see things from both your perspectives. That’s huge in making a relationship work
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yea I know what you mean. for example, he would repeat things if he doesn’t think I catch on. He sees it in my perspective too, and is always trying to make it easy for me in social situations. I was at a poetry reading with him at a coffee shop a month or two ago and I couldn’t focus because of all the stimulation, so he reached out and grabbed my hand - instant anxiety reducer and I was able to focus on one person and not look everywhere as if I was disinterested even though I wasn’t I was just trying to focus, and to do that, I look away.
I really depend on him to be symptom free which I don’t think is healthy?
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Well, then little by little try to find things you can handle on your own, even if it means handling a situation on your own for 5 minutes before relying on him. Then increase that over time.
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Ok, thanks for the advice!
Maybe I can walk in a fast food restaurant quick when I’m feeling symptomatic and see what happens
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I know how you feel. My husband, before he knew about my SZ wanted to leave me because he was fed up with my symptoms. He finally understands what I’m going through and doesn’t yell at me as much. I mean he’s human, he’ll get tired of it, but then he comes around and everything is fine again.
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Thanks @Cici2, the worse is over for today haha
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But you shouldn’t have to live one day at a time, knowing tomorrow might change. I think we all need some permanence of some sort. Otherwise, it’s hard to establish a routine, and those can be critical to your well-being.
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