Schizophrenia.com

I'm a goddamn piece of shît

There are so many companies that I rely on that do awful shît, and I can’t just stop going because they have shît that I need, and I guess the worst part is that I really don’t take issue with eating at Chick fil a or shopping on Amazon. I don’t take issue with any of it. And granted, it’s not like I only have an issue with my group. I still happily ate Papa John’s even when there was a racism issue. Companies are doing shady evil shît every single fûcking day. Sweat shops, slave labor, withholding water, lying about health and safety. My family uses smartphones, shops at Walmart, orders from Amazon. All of this, but I’m the bad guy in my family for wanting some goddamn chick fil a. It’s good. Well, it’s bad. And I can’t just boycott everything.

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I love chick fil a, but ■■■■ them. I haven’t eaten there in years and won’t ever again.

It’s a tough choice to be ethical in this modern world where everyone is selling out to economics. Your right. All you can do is concentrate on what you touch. Yes you can boycott but only if you go to a local retailer and support them for instance.

I’m poor. It’s easy to be environmentally conscious when you’ve money. You can buy out of the rat race but I need to buy from China and I need to get by.

All’s I’d suggest is keep local if possible. For example. I shop at a major retailer but I will go through a checkout even if I wait rather than a self checkout. At least give a teenager some more money!

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I became a vegetarian n I try to spend safely… For this same reason… We are all demoralized by The McTwanky Banky junk pushing jerkweed Plastic Dragon fools … I make this cartoon for this actual purpose … i hope u smile n trust u aint alone in the fight
:slight_smile: Sir Scotty brings
:rose: Mad~Pride in Honor of The Moonlight :rose::rose:

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But that’s the thing. You say that, and I get that Chick-fil-a is awful donating money to LGBT conversion camps, but like, they could be doing much worse.

Nestle went to poor African countries and told the women that Nestle baby formula was healthier than breast milk. They proceeded to offer the women the formula for free until the babies would no longer take breast milk, then jacked up the price so that the women had no choice but to purchase it. Oh, and the women who couldn’t afford the formula? Nestle just let the babies die.

Apple allows their phones to be made by child laborers in sweatshops, and they justify it by saying that Apple sweatshops aren’t as bad as those of other companies. Like, they’re still sweatshops, they’re just not as hellish as others.

People always want to talk to me about social awareness and moral values when I want to eat at Chick-fil-a, but I don’t see anyone boycotting iPhones or Tollhouse chocolate chip cookies. At least the owner of Chick-fil-a believes he’s doing the right thing (he’s not, but still). Companies like Amazon and Walmart know full well that they’re being unethical and immoral, but they continue their practices because they allow the companies to make more and more money.

This world is so fûcked up that I don’t even know what to do. Thinking of all the bad shît that I indirectly condone in order to live as comfortably as I do is beginning to make me hate myself. What am I supposed to do? Leave society and go live in a cabin in the middle of some forest with nothing? Hunt for food and warmth and hope that, by some miracle, I don’t become completely unhinged? It’s not possible, and even if it were, it wouldn’t be practical. Like, if that were my plan, I’d be better off just saving myself the trouble and committing suicide.

So what am I supposed to do? Good and evil don’t just cancel out. That’s not to say I shouldn’t do anything good; I should and I do; but no matter what, I’m hurting people. And it’s not just my fault. I know that; the blame doesn’t necessarily belong to any single individual; but me? It’s not like I need the things that I have. The issue is that I don’t want to give this lifestyle up. I enjoy having a smartphone, and fast food, and TV, and video games. Those things are important to me, even though they probably shouldn’t be.

I dunno. For some reason, I’ve been thinking a lot about my moral code and the moral implications of my decisions and desires. Condoning certain evils because I have to is completely different from condoning them because it’s more comfortable for me. I don’t know what I’m going to do. If I tried to leave home for any reason, I’d barely make it down the stairs before I found myself in another hospital. Not that I think I could survive on my own. It’d be pretty irresponsible, anyhow. Without my meds, I’m liable to be a danger to others in addition to being a danger to myself. Plus, I can’t do much good for anyone that far off of the grid. I’m good with math and computers. If I ever do anything brilliant, it’ll most likely have some sort of connection to technology.

Part of me just wants all of this to be over. No more mulling over whether or not I’ll go to hell, or whether or not I deserve to go to hell. Whether I really am a bad person, or if I just feel like one. Whether or not my actions (or inactions) have caused some sort of harm, like the butterfly effect or some shît.

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I don’t find Chick Fil A all that good. Politics aside. There is one by my house and I do go occasionally. Their drive thru is always packed. They are in no danger of going out of business.

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I think the chicken at Chick Fil A has a funny taste to it that other chicken doesn’t have. Maybe it’s the oil they use, but their chicken just plain tastes funny. I’ll never understand why it’s the most popular fast food chain in the nation. They don’t even sell burgers for crying out loud.

Also you’re not a bad person, you’re pretty cool.

If you want to eat at chic fa lay then eat it.
Your buying a freaking sandwich not buying their political views. And until their political views pops up on the drive they menu I wouldn’t worry about it.

I dealt with the same thing you’re going through right now. I essentially felt trapped in my choices-- damned if you do, damned if you don’t. A lot of this angst started resolving itself when I started meds. I no longer get so wrapped up in morality-- I believe this was probably part of my symptoms. The meds helped me come back from this battle of good versus evil. I hope you can find solace in knowing you’re not alone, and that if you’re having these ethical dilemmas it probably means you give a ■■■■, and that’s a lot more than most. Good luck.

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strange post. you can get chicken anywhere.

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I can’t wait to eat at Chic-fil-A again. Been a while, but it was AWESOME. Would love to see them open up here in Canada.They’ve only got the one location at the Calgary Airport right now.

:blush:

Nobody tastes that taste I’m talking about? The one that only exists in their chicken? Maybe some people would say it’s a good taste… I used to like it as a kid and they were the only nuggets I’d eat without sauce, but as an adult I find the taste a little repulsive. I’ll take Popeyes or KFC or Wendy’s (Wendy’s has the best chicken sandwich IMO).

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oh yeah, Wendy’s with their luscious tomatoes they get from farmers in California.

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I usually dont eat at chic-fil-a because it’s not close and I dont eat that much fast food politics aside. However, One is opening in the city I live in in September. I may not even eat there. Even if I do it wont be very often.

I don’t eat Chick-Fil-A or shop at WalMart.

I avoid shopping at Amazon, but my mother in law seems to order something every week.

You’re not a shiit person for doing these things,

But if you feel bad about it, don’t.

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Heh. My shopping is pretty much divided between Amazon, eBay, and Walmart. Grocery shopping between Loblaws (mainly Wholesale Club or Extra Foods), Walmart, and some online retailers. IKEA only for furniture because IKEA. Oh, and they have good meatballs.

Life is gooooood.

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True that.

Those meatballs are delicious.

if Phil ever goes to Ebay, I’m done. We do Marketplace on Facebook.

so yesterday, the Ebay bull crap…

And only $0.99!!!

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And what good does giving a shît do if nothing changes? Why do I get to be not only safe, but comfortable, while others, others who are much better people than I could ever hope to be, don’t know when they’ll get to eat again or have to have 20 children because only 50% of their offspring are expected to reach adulthood? It’s like that saying in the Bible, the one that says that it’s easier for a rich man to send a camel into the eye of a needle than it is for him to enter the kingdom of heaven.

Perhaps hell is our fate. Perhaps the truest hell exists here, in guilt, in pain, and in suffering. Maybe that’s what God wants, is for us to suffer. Maybe God just wants me to suffer. Maybe this is my hell. Extroverted but alone? Born brilliant, only to have my intellect stripped away by schizophrenia? Being physically comfortable, but emotionally tortured, like my conscience is stabbing my soul.

Perhaps my mind is just attacking me. I don’t think that people who eat at Chick-fil-a are homophobes simply because they’re eating there, and I don’t think that any of the people who use Amazon consider Jeff Bezos to be a shining beacon of ethical business practices. All in all, I see humanity as a whole and think that the human race is trying its best. I see people loving on and helping one another, and it makes me understand why God hasn’t given up on us. I think that most everyone is worthy of forgiveness, should they be truly sorry for any wrongdoing. I’ve forgiven racists and misogynists, bullies and abusers, and yet I have a difficult time believing that I myself deserve any sort of absolution.

Other people don’t seem to feel this guilty, so there must be some reason that I do. I suppose I’m starting to lose my head a bit, and I avoided the forum because I was afraid of what sort of responses I’d return to. I feel guilty and disgusting and I just, I was afraid that you all would agree that I deserve to go to hell. It does matter to me what others think, at least about this; I care whether or not other people think I’m a bad person. I don’t know why. It’s not like it changes anything. I have voices and thoughts calling me a piece of shît at the moment; I think I forgot to take my afternoon meds.

I don’t know what Chick-fil-a does to their chicken, but it tastes so good.

That’s my problem, though. I feel bad about everything. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but something has to change, because these “laborers,” as companies like to call them, deserve better. The people who work and live in these terrible conditions without adequate means to care for themselves and their families deserve better. The children who, instead of being children, have to take on demanding and often dangerous jobs in order to help their families survive (not live, but survive) deserve better. We have to do better. We have to be better.

Thank you, @goldenrex, for showing me the truth. I see now that my guilt is justified. I’m not doing the best that I can. I’m supporting companies that hurt people, not because it’s necessary, but because it’s convenient. It’s selfish, really. My conscience has called on me to do better, so better I will do.

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