Is that a sure thing I’m asexual or is it because of the bullying in school about my body that preventing me … I used to feel completely disgusted with my body I used to baths in Dettol 
I’m scared if I don’t have it now he’s gonna dump me … I guess he’s gotta do what’s right to him. And I just want him to be happy
Don’t worry about him. To thine own self be true
I worry about him because he’s not in a normal relationship.
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How many times have you had sex since the beginning @anon80629714? And did you feel any pleasure?
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Just the once and yes I did …but I’m still not that experienced so it’s not helping.
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Sex is great in a committed relationship and when both parties want it. If you’re not ready, sit him down and explain. Even if you love someone you may not be ready. If you love him let him know that you love him or that you care deeply for him but just aren’t ready for that just yet. Explain that even though you had sex and enjoyed it before you’re somply not emotionally ready. If he cares for you he will honor that.
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I don’t know u but if I had to guess I think it’s the bullying in school. But yea maybe u want to be asexual for a while thats nothing bad about that
I wouldn’t think it’s anything from your past
but just the thought of getting naked and being vulnerable
it can be kind of daunting.
But your’e a better person than me, and I like using bodies.
i think you should do what you want and keep him happy as well, you guys have been close together for a while right? nothing wrong with getting a bit closer imo, you should do it for all the right reasons. 
Don’t do it just to please him, or you’re setting yourself up to fail.
Talk honestly with him about your insecurities and try to work towards a common goal together.
Would you feel less awkward giving and receiving handjobs rather than “traditional” sex?
Trying to force yourself to have sex when you don’t want it tends to make people really afraid of ever having sex. Has he said anything to make you worry, or are you just feeling insecurities?
Mr. Star and I go through phases. We are both some kind of asexual or something. Sometimes, we both want to do it, and sometimes we don’t. I used to worry he would get sick of the dry spells, but he repeatedly assured me that he would still want to be with me even if we never had sex again. He’s in it for the companionship, not the physicality.
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From what you described in the other topic, your boyfriend sounds like a kind guy that really loves you and isn’t running away from you for lack of sex.
Even if he were, forcing yourself to have sex with someone against your will because you are afraid they leave is really a very bad idea - I tried it, it was destructive for me and for the relationship.
It might be worth it to seek help though from a specialized therapist? In our country we have therapists specialized in sex, or even sex & trauma. Perhaps they can help you understand what it comes from, or give your ideas to explore sexuality in a slow and careful way that feels safe to you (IF that’s what you want)?
Also, what does your boyfriend himself say about this?
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“of all the reasons for us to end, that isn’t close to top of the list” this is what he said to that when we talked. It bothers me more than him. 
I feel it cos I want this part of a relationship but getting there is really tough. Might have to involve a therapist at some point.
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Ah. So he doesn’t really bother so much. He loves you for yourself, without the sex. That’s good. Then you are in a totally safe place to choose to either explore it in baby steps if you want to, or just leave it as it is.
Also, it is not so exceptional! You are not weird for not having sex. Google how many marriages are sexless. I’ve read somewhere that 10% of the married couples below 50 had no sex the last year, and 20% of the married couples have a “sexless marriage”, defined as less than 10 times a year. No idea if it helps, but maybe it sort of helps a tiny bit to know you are not odd and many people don’t have sex in a relationship.
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When we started trying to be okay with sex, we used exposure therapy. Basically, go a tiny bit at a time, and always stop when you still enjoy it. Then, your brain starts to form positive associations with the actions instead of negative ones. When either of you says stop, you both stop, and don’t try again for at least a few hours. It helped us get over our fears. We both have PTSD around sexual stuff.
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@anon73478309 i feels a little better thats its not totally abnormal but it is something i want to work on…
@Ninjastar first of all how did you get the heart and star next to your name… ?
I think thats a really good idea… i also don’t think we talk about it as much as we should… if we did it would probably start to happen…
One has to face their fears and as you do it becomes less of a fear, it becomes easier and easier
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You can always do other stuff
Not the traditional
Use your imagination and be creative
Maybe build up tension in the foreplay will make you wanna do it
Idk really I’m just like you, don’t really enjoy sex
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I don’t know. How did you get the heart and star next to your name?
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