I am a thirty year old non Sz male.
Last year I have met a women whom I shared a great chemistry with, for the first time ever I felt how it was if you can completely be yourself with someone.
I did however notice some things about her that point into the direction of schizophrenia. She sometimes wore cloths in a certain color, or said comepletely unrelated things mid conversation.
She was not always able to speak clearly due to disorganized speech, and a lot of times she (assumeably) talked in metaphors or drawings to get her emotions across. It was not that she could not talk, she was very intelligent, had a job and lived all by herself.
I had the feeling chemistry I described was mutual. She said it was a long time since she invited someone into her life again. In our last meeting I tried to subtly touch the topic of her condition as I wanted to make her feel comfortable and understanding.
But I sensed it was hard for her. And the closer I got the more confused she got. I did not want to treat her as a label, neither did I want to be a savior. I am a very emphatic and understanding person, but if this was the person I felt a real connection with, then I dont mind tryinhg to coper with the baggage
I havent seen her since but she did send me things to let me know she was feeling loved by our moments together.
Since then she has pushed me away, sometimes we sporadically talk for a minute on text, and I get drawings of what I interpet as her mental state, about turbulence, sinking ships, etc.
I wonder if someone here can relate to this behaviour. Should I keep trying now and then? Or is this a clear message that I need to go away?
So what exactly made you think it was schizophrenia? I mean I could easily imagine that something is going on here, but schizophrenia is rare, and from your description, this could be a ton of different things.
A year is a long time. I think if it were me I would simply ask her on a date. This would give you more information to go on. If she says yes, you know there might me a chance for that kind of relationship. if she says no, you might just have to settle for the friend zone.
Thanks! I appreciate your reply. Thing is, ive asked that and got a yes. But she backs down when it comes close. And I cant make up if im just getting rejected or if it is the condition. And that drives me nuts, so maybe its time to let it go finally
Delusions about many things, burglars, vermin, stalkers etc. She would draw things without her remembering doing so. She would type enormous wors salads. She would wear clothes of only certain colors on different occasions. She could not be in crowds because she would get confused. She had days of being cathatonic . I can ofcourse be wrong about it :-). But I thought it came close.
i don’t know for sure,
but i can definitely relate.
And i push people away when i need them the most,
especially if they’ve made a huge effort, or if the word love is mentioned,
because i feel like a burden.
Maybe she just needs some time alone. It’s hard to tell but i’d say keep trying.
Mental illness can make you feel unloved and unworthy of any kind of attention, or effort or time
And as if you don’t deserve anyone around, or that they secretly hate you.
If you get no reply, it could just be that things are bad on her end,
and it should pass.
I hope she replies! I’d say space, but not too much space.
Let her know you’re there and care but don’t get pushy
Thank you for your answer
Ive made sure not too be pushy, there have been times she hasnt replied, and other times that she did and reacted enthusiastic, so thanks for helping me with this advice!
@Dixan I’d like to encourage you to join our forum for Family and Caregivers that can be found at:
While this is a peer support forum for people with schizophrenia and other closely related psychotic disorders, the Family forum is specifically for people like yourself, who have a loved one they are concerned about.
Also, please let your loved one know about this forum as they may find it helpful.
