I suffer less now but i am bad, this will change?

i am disappointed by the psychiatry as you know… I don’t want anymore meds… my suffering is lessened on the second month that I am on zyprexa but I don’t have any good mood anymore… I have anger in me, hate,envy, could this change? should I continue my meds? I am asking myself if I should stop them… I am soo unhappy…

Have you tried therapy @Anna10? Meds can take away strong emotion, but likely all other emotions with it. A strong, deep felt anger is usually best dealt with rooting it out, not masking it. Just a thought. Keep strong!!

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It sounds like you benefit from being on meds. Perhaps you could try to add hobbies and other productive activities to your life so that you feel better about yourself? If you’re constantly busy doing activities, then you won’t have as much time to dwell on negatives thoughts.

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yes gir,i was masking all my emotionsbefore. now I try to show them with the hope that ill get better.
bipolar, I am more active and I have more energy. I am also calmed down. but I continue to complain because I am afraid that zyprexa will make zombie of me…though,this is the only ap that I can take with minimal side effects. probably its just a phase before the good things(this phase when you are more reasonable and less in your head)? I try to go out with my mom,helping her etc…but today I was in such a bad mood. I also sleep a lot and Ive noticed that after a big sleep I am in a worse mood(ive slept this night 22 hours after didn’t sleeping for 24 hours)… I need encouragements in order to continue my meds cause I still think that I wont feel love on them,or anything which makes from me a good person…

I understand. Please keep taking them. When I was on zyprexa I slept a lot also. It helped a lot with positive symptoms, but made me very sluggish. Sometimes it’s a trade off until you adjust or try something new. Just stay the course for now. And learn some coping skills.

but was somebody here on the forum also so bad like me I am? all my schizos friends are better than me I have the impression, my mon says to me thati am the worst case cause I am bad…

What illnesses exactly are you dealing with, and for how long, if you don’t mind me asking?

You might ask your doctor about getting on Geodon and maybe Seroquel. Those drugs handle my symptoms without being too sedating. I have heard other people saying Seroquel brought them down, but it didn’t do that to me. It might be worth a try.

I have paranoid schizophrenia with mostly negatives symptoms… I think that my had had something similar, he was never diagnosed, but in his 50s he got really depressed, strated drinking and died from it… all my life he was beating my mom and my sister but my mom thinks that what I have is genetic,not nature… in the nights I am so fed up of the pain and my thoughts who are running fast in my head that I think that I become a monster too… I am always in a bad mood, I don’t have social life, I just live between 4 walls… crimby, I tried Seroquel and Geodon in the past,they were not for me… I just have the slight hope that its too soon for my zprexa(2 months) or probably meds just don’t work on me…

otherwise, I am ill as long as I remember myself… I got worse in my 15s… I lived suicidal for years… with all this anger and hate and envy…I entered the psychiatry in 2011 and I tried almost every ap on the market… probably,the error is in me if nothing cant help me…probably I gave up somewhere in the past(I was really alone in another country for my studies where I was smoking a lot of weed), don’t know anymore… I just wanna be happy right now and it doesn’t come…

Abilify has really helped me with the negatives, so has trazodone and seroquel. There are new medicines soon to come out that are supposed to target the negs. Maybe that’s why you are upset. You feel trapped?

gir, I have paranoia,anxietys and depression… abilify got my anxiety to the roof… I am to a point that I think activating myself works the best against negatives…in fact,zyprexa gives me energy,its strange,it doesn’t sedate me a lot…my ex pdoc was telling me that it has an antidepressive effect…cant I do it alone?i cant count anymore on the new medecines, I count on myself but I am a parasite… I wanna cry :cry:

You are no parasite!! We ALL deserve to be loved here. Abilify does give me anxiety, but I take something for it and I do alright. I know you don’t want to take more meds, but Sz is a complex set of illnesses.

no,its not for meabilify. I was also akathisic on it,it was too hard to be on it. I cant take benzos all the time to counteract the abilify… thank you for your message. how long it took for you to gen on your feet? I think that I should make more efforts…I was to a point that I lived only In my head, just with negatives thoughts, it wasn’t human anymore…

Every day is a new challenge. Whenever you feel bitter or unhappy, remember to tell yourself to replace those thoughts with better ones. Talk to yourself like you are giving comfort to a good friend or young child you love and care for.

ok,yes, this thing can help… but as I said, I am really fed up of all pills, maybe I am wrong…how much time it took for you to be fine, gir?

Well, honestly, I am the best I’ve ever been, but that’s an ever changing situation. I have to come off one ap and go on another now because I can’t increase it anymore. I am worried that my functioning will decrease. So being fine for me is usually only temporary.

think of me who is ill since 15 years, maybe more… I could write a book…me too,i am not fine,yeap…I have a schizo friend who even stopped her meds and she is fine. I am jealous of it… I start to be old and I never had a happy life, I don’t know what it is. but i have less now of all these thougths but i fight every day the need to suicide myself…that’s all i guess

Make sure you take time to compliment yourself everyday. When you feel good about yourself your outlook brightens.

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ok,ill try. now i just have this fast thinking that ill d be forever like this. that i wanna live without worries and i cant. i am so frustrated i guess… i should calm down myself a little bit also, i cant always live with all this regrets that i miss something :(… it s what i think right now in fact:(…