I should have died

First psychosis i threw away my bus ticket and went into the city to die. In an instant i saw the rest of my life so i threw it away and went to leave and die. There was ice on the ground, i was in sandals, but then it was like spring time all of a sudden so that didn’t kill me.

I began to starve, but then some nice person showed up and started buying me food, he seemed to know about the demons in my head because he started telling me he had power over them and he could get rid of them.

So, i lived still, should not have happened at all.

Eventually i made it home and they began doping me with this crap they call medicine, which has been worse than death actually, death would have been easier.

Second psychosis, i was run from my home yet again. Ended up on the beach this time, satan even showed up, or one of them anyway, he just stared at me for a second and went away. I didn’t really know what to think about a guy that was half goat at all, it went from terror to a kind of “wtf is that ■■■■?” feeling.

But yet again i survived, i was able to eat, the weather didn’t kill me, the demons didn’t kill me, nothing killed me, now im wondering why the ■■■■ nothing would kill me, i wish i would have died, it’s been worse to survive actually, i could have gotten out but nothing would kill me!

Two psychoses, homelessness, other instances of near death experiences, crap crap carp pain pain pain, poverty, and to top it all off i get to take poisons that in all actuality probably aren’t even doing anything at all but if i don’t then they always come back to get me.

I should have died, so many times i should have died, and i would have come out ahead if i had. I seem to be like bruce willis in his movie about not being able to die, it’s happened several upon several times and just hasn’t or won’t.

A little advice now, “schizophrenia” is untreatable, you are dumb for even trying to treat it, you need to just let us end it with the barbitol like sweden does you morons, how the ■■■■ are you going to “treat” someone invading our minds, and with poisonous crap no less?!

Science and knowledge without wisdom is hideous, it’s the difference between nuclear war and actually being happy. It’s what makes you poison someone to death slowly for nothing.

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pansdisease,i am so glad you did not die…keep writing as much as you need to…and you will find out just how many people truly care about you…you need to see a psch doctor…the right medication will ease some of the situation you are having now…please don’t give up…sending warm hugs and blessings for you…


if you feel like you just can’t take it anymore,please contact any emergency unit::::firestation, hospital,police station,there is help out there,but you need to make the effort to get it…you sound like a strong person,so you could do this…please keep us informed on how you are doing…

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**Just wondering what kind of meds you are on?
You didnt die for a reason. My son didnt die and he had the same experiences you did. Something inside you is looking out for you~~
You also have a great sense of humor.
Much love ********

I know you don’t believe in god or anything, but what if he was real, and that guy could have really rebuked it out of you.

i feel the same way, the ’ crap ’ keeps on happening, i don’t know why i keep on getting up in the morning !..but i do and generally i find something to laugh about, i see something that is beautiful.
you made me laugh today by posting the bill burr comedian guy…thanks again for that.
i was laughing so much.
keep going, find something like a good book to read , or watch a good film.
take care

Of course he is real, i don’t just believe that there are other beings, it’s obvious that they are real.

This universe did not come from nothing, something was there that this came from, obvious, it’s also just plain common sense that there are other beings, it’s quite obvious as well that there are other beings who live in this world that was there that ours came out of.

I think it’s obvious as well that this thing that was there needed a conscious catalyst to give way to our universe. An eternal thing is unchanging, whatever process was needed for it to undergo to give way to something had to have consciousness to initiate it, just like a dam needs consciousness to be built.

With an unchanging thing nothing new happens, for things to come together or a process to be inititiated to give way to other thins it takes consciousness to do so, because it was always what it was, it was already in place and didn’t change, but a new thing happened there and gave way to our universe, it took consciousness for it to happen.

Had there been no consciousness there none of this would have happened.

However, im failing to understand how spirits are not psychopaths, perhaps they would care to explain all of this?