Schizophrenia.com

I need to vent. I feel like I don't deserve anything (TW)

I was really excited because my dad said that I could go to this conference.

Then I started to think about how my friends are not going to be there because they have graduated.
Then I started to think how I lost everything.
Then I started to think that I have no one and no friends that I could talk to.

Because I. GOT. SICK.

Do I really deserve anything? I don’t think so.
My body is just a piece of ■■■■ that doesn’t want to do anything. It’s always tired and sick!
Always. I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!!!

I HATE YOU YOU ■■■■■■■ PIECE OF ■■■■

I should just die. My voices are screaming to cut myself right now.

I’m just really really done. I’m sick of my illness, I’m sick of everything. I’m sick of my body not cooperating.

I HATE MYSELF.

Other people are healthy but now I’m sick. I’m only 23. How do you want me to live?

If I didn’t get sick, I would not have be STUCK HERE. I WOULD NOT BE STILL IN KOREA WITH ABSOLUTELY NO FRIENDS TO TALK TO!!! EVERYTHING SCARES ME.

I hate myself now I know why I’m stuck in this place. It’s because I’m a ■■■■■■■ piece of ■■■■.

I’m not going to the conference. I’m just a lonely sick person. Nothing else than that. I don’t deserve anything.

You’re only 23!!! I had trauma and mental illness from 11-27 really severely.

Well it was only 25 I started to improve and then now at 29 I am so glad I displayed some patience with my mental health and didn’t “give up” because life is pretty good. Well I’ve figured out a formula that works for me. Life is like 80% about getting patterns down right. Then the other 20% is how creative you are. Even the most creative people in the world are still not going to do well unless they have pattern routine and stability. It is the 20% of creativity that separates the stable from the creative geniuses. And everyone’s on the spectrum somewhere. But in order to utilize that 20% you gotta get the routine aspect of your life. The other 80% in order. That’s just what I believe. Good luck. Remember never give up. You always have hope as long as you are here with us and everything else I see in u too. Take care.

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Your not alone it’s bad for me to I have had my car taken away cuz I hear voices.

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I’m touched by what you said.

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Hope things get better for you

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I’m sorry to hear that you are hurting
I also hope things get better for you :yellow_heart: