I agree. I don’t want to be cynical but there’s millions of as*holes out in the world who cause all kinds of trouble. There’s so many people doing drugs, selling drugs and doing criminal things as a way of life. And they just don’t care who they hurt or who’s lives they ruin, they are just out for themselves.
Of course there’s lots of nice people too. But there’s so many people causing so much trouble.
And then look at you. You’re just trying to solve your physical and mental challenges. You don’t sound like you want to harm anyone or cause any trouble. Why should you hate yourself? You’re just trying to survive the obstacles in your life that are no fault of your own.
You don’t ask for much, you just want to be treated good and you probably just want to be liked.
Hell, to be honest, personally when i first got diagnosed, if I used your reasoning I should have offed myself. But I would have been a 100% wrong. When I got sick at age 19 I wasn’t doing anything for anybody. I couldn’t function and I needed lots of help.
From age 19-22 I couldn’t support myself or do most normal things. I could barely take care of myself. My two main talents were I could take a shower and dress myself. Other than that I wasn’t doing anybody any good. i mean I should have been in the prime of life and doing a bunch of cool things. But instead I was in a hospital for 8 months.
My parents are as loyal as yours and they wanted to help me and they visited me every day for 8 months. I could have just given up and let the disease win. I had nothing. No money, no job, no girlfriend, no school, no independence, no car, no friends. But my parents didn’t give up on me. You’re lucky, you know how many times I’ve read on this forum about parents who reject their children because they become schizophrenic? Lots of times.
But your parents are trying to help you it sounds like. And they want you to get better. I mean when parents have kids, they are in it for the long haul. Parents raise they’re kids in this world knowning full well all the bad sh*t that could happen to anybody on earth. And their job is to protect their children.
You just got unlucky just like the rest of us on this forum and got this disease. It doesn’t mean that your family should desert you. You’re family, and when something bad happens in life the natural thing is for the family to pull together and help the family member who is struggling.
Yeah, I was kinda in your shoes from about 19-22 years old. I needed a lot of help. But I stuck around and eventually, I got better, in very small ways. I co-operated with doctors and took my medication and did the best i could. And eventually, with lots of help I became more independent and accomplished stuff in life.
LOts of people feel useless sometimes in their life. But some of my proudest accomplishments is eventually being able to “give back” and help my family. I helped move everyone in my family more than a dozen times. They like to travel and I housesat and took care of their pets and watered their plants a million times. I did yardwork for my whole family. When something needed to be picked up at the grocery store I got whatever they needed. I drove my sisters and my dad to the airport so many times i lost track.
I mean I know you have physical limitations but maybe in the future you will be able to help in some ways. Everybody needs help some time in their life. You just got to accept that right now you need that help. Your future might get better. When I was young my future looked like c rap. It looked hopeless. But I pulled out of it and now I’ve worked for many years and went to school and did other things. And I learned not to be a burden. I’m not saying you are a burden, I’m just speaking for myself.
IDK. I could go on. I never could have predicted that I would get better. But I did. Hell, I spent the entire 80’s in hospitals, group homes and mental health housing. That was just the way it was. I started the 90"s off pretty strong and now I’m just kind of cruising. I have my janitor job, I have my apartment. Things get pretty good sometimes.
You just got to have faith that things will get better. You have to keep trying and have faith things will get at least a little better. You’ve got your translating job, right? That’s a huge step, give yourself credit. IDK what else to say. Things get bleak sometimes, but often times get tolerable. You deserve to be on this planet as much as anyone else. And more than most. Things change, in both good and bad ways. I wish you luck and hope you get something out of this.