ive spent years of not knowing what is to feel healthy… i dont know if its a derealization, the dissociation or whatever you call it. maybe i dont have positive emotions too… but yes, i wonder what is the normal state of one happy human being…
i often wonder also if there are some limits in the every day thinking? somebody told me here once that there are no such limits but i dont think so… cause if i havent had them, i would scream outside because of my paranoia which is not really ok…
yes, i count on meds. i say to myself that its not normal to feel nothing on them. they should work one day for god sake, isnt it??? i have an ill friend, she feels bad since years too. i dont see how i am gonna to get better if even she cant do it. she who goes out etc etc…
please give me hope. tell me that you also didnt know in the past what is the normal state of yourself. and that it can change…
several things.
Try to think less of the past, as it is not productive.
Further, try to make the most out of life all the time.
Focus on trying to recover.
Try to keep yourself busy.
Exercise. Maintain a healthy diet. You can experiment with medications,
changing them, changing doses combining.
Try to do the most you can all the time.
Perhaps look for a support group.
In any case if you do the maximum to recover it will , apart from raising your chances of recovery,
you will also feel good because you will be doing your part.
Me I do everything to recover. It may or may not work but at least I know that I’m doing my part.
thanks for the message erez. but you know, I am already quite passive. ok, I think less about the past, the most of my struggles are in my head but sometimes I dont push myself more than needed. I wonder if I can recover because its like this… I almost cant hold a normal conversation, I suffocate from anger and fear when talking sometimes, yeah… I dont know how bad you were but me the problem is that I am sick since child and I am tired to fight. I count on meds a lot yes. or at least, not to feel my brain in my head anymore like I was feeling it for years. yeah, funny symptom but its painful also lol. crazy thing…
maybe perhaps do yoga or art therapy… buy a yoga DVD usually the speaker has a relaxing voice guiding you through relaxation techniques. you can skip the hard poses and just do the easy ones.
sometimes having a pet can have healing qualities too… my psychotherapist once recommended me to do gardening but i was bad at it and all my plants died… lol
writing a journal…
I have a dog. She really helps me feel better. When I come home and I’ve had a symptomatic day she pokes and prods at me to pet her. I think she knows I’m not feeling well. I usually will lay down in bed and have her lay next to me while I pet her. I had the same luck with plants. I really like having plants but it turns into a big waste of money cos I just end up killing them.
thank you to both of you 
but dont you think that meds should work better with time? its been 11 months that I am on them but I am ill since 2 decades… isn’t it strange that I dont feel any effect from them? I am so tensed by some form of suffering that even my body hurts. I am limited even in my movements, I am so closed…