In my home, I don’t have a right to make decisions about my stepdaughter.
She’s 18 years old and a senior in high school. She met a 21 year old guy on Snapchat. He’s coming over tomorrow to our house when my husband won’t be home.
I’m so uncomfortable with this. He’s a total stranger. But it’s been made very clear I have no say in the matter.
My husband says he doesn’t like it, but she’s 18 and therefore it is her choice.
Whoa yeah maybe, but in the same house? That’s really rude, if he doesn’t care about what she does with random guys that’s fine but take it somewhere else.
That would be my opinion at least if I were in your situation.
Yeah. I think they should meet in public places until she gets to know him better.
it’s your house too…screw that you can’t speak up…strangers coming to the house is not acceptable.
What I am uncomfortable with is how you get treated in your own home. I thought the idea of a marriage is for the partners to be equal and make joint decisions.
Your house, your rules. This doesn’t matter.
Maybe you could just let the guy stay 15 - 30 minutes, and then they could do something else.
You can’t stop her from dating him, but you should be able to say that he doesn’t get to come into your home. I am not left with a great impression of your husband.
Will you be at the house with them?
@FreeLunch @shutterbug @dreamer54 @jukebox @crimby @77nick77
The one time my husband doesn’t take my side at all is when it comes to his daughter. It’s been like that the last 10 years. He even tells me she comes first.
However, with other things he can really back me up and usually he’s really good to me.
I recognize she’s an adult and I am not going to stop her from dating whomever she wants. But I was drugged at a party and kept in a home, drugged up, for 3 months when I was 19. Therefore, I’m very aware of the dangers. That’s why this makes me so uncomfortable.
I guess I just need to be prepared to call 911 if need be. I’ve decided to sit near the front door with my phone right next to me.
Wow I’m so sorry to hear that you endured something like that.
Hopefully your stepdaughter is a good judge of character…
I feel that. I’m in the same spot with my wife and her parents. Her dad isn’t awful, but his mind is gone from dementia at this point. Her mother IS awful, but we still have to warp our lives around her. There are days when I wonder why she didn’t just marry them instead.
I like my wife in most ways, but not when her parents are in the mix.
This is all a long way of saying I feel you and feel for you. Please do whatever you need to in order to feel safe. You’re a good person and deserve to feel safe.
I disagree.
It seems he is actually actively trying to mess with you.
Your husband has shown some very abusive behaviors and I think you know that.
I wouldn’t care if the kid wants to date an older guy,
But it’s your house.
Your husband’s continued disrespect is honestly pretty amazing.
You shouldn’t be putting up with it.
Kind of agree that it’s bizarre if he understands that you’re suffering from mental illness that he would put you in a position like this
I’m not trying to be hateful,
But it seems that every time you post about your husband,
It’s him not allowing you to do something or being upset with you over things that are not your fault.
You deserve better.
@Charles_Foster , you’re right that he’s often hard on me. It’s hard to admit that though because when he’s kind, he’s so kind. And I love him with all my heart.
@FreeLunch , yes, hopefully this situation doesn’t trigger my paranoia
Thanks @shutterbug
That’s what I would do.
Idk personally I’d rather my daughter had a date at home where it’s safe then she be God knows where with a stranger. Just my 2 cents.
Oh yeah id be sittin out on the porch with my musket. Then id say “hey boy git over here and help me clean my musket you know how to do that right boy?”
Deputy Level