This is like weeks since I’ve been cycling up and down.
Now I’m so depressed that I’ve been thinking of ending it all.
I contacted my doctor minutes ago.
I feel so low, I’m in so much pain.
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I left an urgent text.
She hasn’t called me back yet.
@Wave , don’t do anything to harm yourself.
It’s just a matter of getting up to the correct dose of depakote.
Then everything will be ok.
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I think you should go to hospital. This has been going too long.
Offing your self isn’t right way, and you know that.
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I agree. You need immediate care.
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@Bowens, can you post crisis line numbers…
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Sure @anon42606141 . @Wave , I have no idea if you need these or not but here they are:
If you are feeling suicidal or having a mental health crisis, please tell someone — a friend or family member, a teacher, a doctor or therapist or call 911 (if you’re in the U.S.) or the Emergency Medical Services phone number in your country.
You can also call a crisis intervention hotline—these are available in the U.S. and in many other countries. You do not need to be actively suicidal to benefit from a crisis hotline.
International crisis hotlines:
Crisis hotlines in the U.S.:
https://www.thetrevorproject.org
More resources:
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Are you still here?
Thanks @everhopeful @cdwithdcs @Bowens and @anon42606141
I’m feeling a bit better now, my doctor called me immediately.
She’s raising the Depakote to 1000mg starting tonight.
She’s also dropping the Lamictal back down to 25mg because it was triggering manic episodes.
When I’m back on 1000mg in a few days she may raise the Lamictal back to 50mg if I’m still depressed.
I start the Depakote increase to 750mg starting tonight.
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Sounds good @Wave . Glad you managed to contact your doctor.
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Yes, thanks @everhopeful
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I’m glad your doctor got back with you @Wave . You have a good pdoc.
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Yes she really cares about her patients.
Thanks @SkinnyMe
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Good to see you ok @Wave 
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Thanks @anon68444330
Yeah I dropped very low for a while
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You’re velcome.
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Oh man I’m crashing again…
I think I need some time away from here for the night.
Waiting to take the increased Depakote tonight.
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It’s a crap week for a bunch of us. Sending (((hugs))) mate. Take care of yourself.
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Hi. I hope you’ve levelled out, it sounds like such a terrible way to feel! Has it been this severe in the past? I used to feel like ending it sometimes. It’s so tormenting.
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I’m glad you talked to your pdoc. Hang in there. I hope you feel better soon.
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