I’m feeling paranoid

DX'd - Sz/SzA
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I think the lack of sleep the last few weeks, plus only sleeping 2 hours last night is making me even more paranoid. My dr won’t prescribe traditional sleep meds. She gave me hydrozyzine 50 mg for sleep, but it’s not helping.

I feel like the men are reading my food diary and my texts, posts, and test results and talking about me and judging me. I feel like they’re glad I’m suffering and they’re laughing at me for it. Now I feel like my stepmom is talking bad about me to my dad and turning him against me. Even my mom is being pretty cold to me. Why does so many people find me to be easily hated?! This sucks. What should I do so it’s not as easy to hate me?

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I’m afraid they’re going to talk to my new team of drs like they did with my previous drs. They told the drs what to say and believe about me.

Once after surgery they questioned me for 9 hours. The hospital says I was stuck in recovery for 9 hours because they couldn’t get my vitals regulated. But I remember the men questioning me and asking for my passwords.

They ruin my life!

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I can imagine you feel unsafe.

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Being paranoid is not fun. Could you double the dose of hydrozyzine?

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50 mg is the max dose youre supposed to take at once.

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I didn’t know that. Thanks for letting me know. I take 100mg Seroquel at bedtime for sleep.

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I’ll ask if I can double it. Does hydroxyzine help paranoia? I finally got a little sleep and I’m feeling paranoid but less freaked out.

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I don’t get how they asked you for passwords?

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They just said what I’d your email password

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That’s a weird coincidence. When I was in the hospital I heard a voice say I was be transferred to Methodist hospital. I never heard of this hospital. I ended up going there.

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Maybe a nurse or other employee mentioned it and you forgot? It’s possible either way

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Yeah I just don’t know. It bothers me.

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This sounds frustrating. I really feel for you. I hope your dr can prescribe you something else for sleep. You really need your rest.

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Thanks @HollyHobby

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I don’t think Hydroxyzine helps with paranoia. But I think good sleep helps with paranoia and that’s why I suggested you double the dose if possible.

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I hope you feel better. I still remember when I thought they would torture me when I was in my 40s. I heard a voice that said because I did Adderall they would turn me into a man and I would have no breaks in the torture unlike if I stayed a woman .

Then the trajectory changed to be kidnapped to North Korea and made into the dictator and then I would go to hell.

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It seems like you are experiencing breakthrough symptoms possibly. And when that happens to me and I get psychosis it’s usually from stress building up. I can’t get away from some stress, it’s my brain, the worrying. I worry about my daughter, my health, my finances, if I’m loved. All I can do is try to reduce stress. Relax a lot, hot baths, spend time with my loved ones, eat lots of veggies, drink tons of water, herbal teas, and I have a few bad habits that reduce stress but I’m actively working on not doing or cutting down on those things and replacing them with exercise.

You are under ten tons of stress right now. How you are upright is beyond me. Please find something nice to do for you right away. Bath, hot tea, meditate, yoga, something, anything that helps you. Could you get a back rub possibly? If you can decrease the stress a little it might start to feel a little better.

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Thanks for the suggestions @Leaf

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