I love my brain (now)

So I came down with sza like 4 years ago and it was such ■■■■ at the beginning. I was paranoid, sleeping in the forest behind my house… I would run away because I thought death squads were imminent and steal cars to “loose them”. Also I had a bunch of delusions that I was some kind of spiritual being like a god or what not, it all ■■■■■■ me up.

But 4 years later some of the delusions I struggled with are really making my life interesting and its keeping my spirits up.

Im just talking about a higher power of some sort, I can’t help believe. I feel important in this universe and blessed to have the life I do. Tons of cool coincedences…

I dunno, I got this mental illness and these delusions that I recognize are delusions but ■■■■ it I believe in them and I know how to act so they don’t get me in trouble anymore.

For whatever reason I dont get depressed or down, I just get the mania and it was a lot to deal with when i first started getting manic but now with medication (no side effects, yay) its all managable.

I just cant get over how self confident I’ve become because of my delusion that im some kind of spiritual being… On the one hand I know it’s crazy but on the other hand i can’t help beleive in it so whats the harm I guess.

now with medication (no side effects, yay)

You’re so lucky. Glad things are working out for you.

Thats great i’m glad your medication has no side effects. can i ask what you are taking?

1 month depot injection of clopixol… i think there is a side effect and its made me slightly awkward when i walk with my hands … but im 6’4 and lenky so it could just be normal but im pretty sure i didnt walk this way before i started taking this med

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