I know someone who

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Has less than £1000 savings

And has very unreliable hospitality job hours

Like for example, 8 hours this upcoming week.

Meaning that their savings are going down too.

They receive only £400 per month instead of the maximum £800 due to that specific landlord not accepting housing benefit.

I told this person its a pandemic they should move somewhere

Where the landlord accepts housing benefit.

As backup

But they won’t listen to me.

Apparently it’s ‘rude’ to accept benefits.

I told them that I’m worrying too much about their situation and don’t know how to be me with them.

And that I’d have to cut contact therefore

Because it feels weird if I’m super friendly with thm

But can’t even support them financially if they fall into financial troubles.

What would you do?

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They aren’t your responsibility.

I see some red flags that they may try taking advantage of you. Please be careful.

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It sounds like you’ve done everything you can do, honestly

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Yes they also know that I once gave someone £2000

In financial troubles.

And when I try to cut contact with this person they become super clingy.

I just get so worried for the worst

And that’s not good long term for my mental health yikes.

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I had to cut ties with a close friend earlier this year, it was a very toxic relationship and they were very codependent. Setting boundaries is tough but in my experience it’s one of the best things you can do for yourself

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Yea setting boundaries is really tough especially when the person really does not want to let go.

And when I don’t have a proper block option on my texting.

It’s even tougher when one really does appreciate the person in a way :pensive:

It’s easy to loose sight of the situation.

So thanks @Ooorgle @anon2818416

For making me feel like I’m not a bad person…,

And good for you for cutting ties where it was needed too Smokes, it can be something that requires skill.

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You’re definitely not a bad person. Bad people don’t worry about if they’re a bad person or not

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Sometimes to practice self care we have to cut people out of our lives.

If they get super clingy, or upset when you try to take a step back, I would worry about signs of manipulation.

It sucks, it hurts, but sometimes it’s the right decisions.

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You aren’t a bad person at all, as far as I can tell. Compassionate to a fault, but not at all bad.

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It’s a shame I think they may genuinely do appreciate me as a person :pensive:

But I just can’t afford to worry so much. Can’t even really be myself around them then.

Plus if the think it’s rude to accept benefits makes me wonder what they think of me lol since I accepted benefits for 5 years

Anyways…,

Thanks guys

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Why are you still friend with him/her? Isn’t that the same person who stole 2000£ from you? I know its hard to put boundaries but its easier to just completely cut that person out from your life. Me I can’t say no to weed and it makes me psychotic so I cut out all my friends who smoke weed, its been years I didn’t talk to any and I haven’t smoked weed since then.

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This is a different person that I just cut off tonight.

I really miss them though.

Sigh.

It’s annoying.

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Oh lol my bad, I just read you said you gave someone else. I just saw 2000 and assumed its the same person.

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But yea if you can’t set boundaries its just easier to completely cut off the person.

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No problem Aziz.

It’s cool.

I didn’t give this new person any money.

They even said to me that they will never ask me for money.

But

If I’m super friendly with them

Then one day they close to being homeless

How weird would I feel if I didn’t help them out

You know??

I just have to cut ties :sob:

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Idk what to say, maybe find richer friends lol its not the first time they ask you for money.

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I wouldn’t worry about it. They’re going to have to eventually improve their financial situation somehow. If you can’t assist them, if they get into a problem, you can’t be held responsible since you tried to warn them.

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Do you think I should remain friends. We are kind of closer than friends.
Known them for 2 months
So idk if I can even connect with them

Knowing that one day they my face serious financial problems

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Wait. You guys have savings? :expressionless:

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Not really much. But soon I’m hopefully gonna be working full time. I wanna start saving…,

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