I just feel that way. I feel very disappointed with my life and my instability.
I hate the fact I am not successful with work, with males, I hate the fact I hate myself. I will never find a man - because I am the problem. No one truly likes me, and don’t try to prove the opposite. Too many relationships in my life were unsuccessful. People like me mostly for several months.
Work… I am not sure am I capable of being a normal, skilled worker! No one wants such people like me at work.
I am truly very depressed. I am feeling more low and low everyday, and I can’t help it. It seems like I am a disaster. The one, which are simply NO ONE. I miss my good ol days when I was happy.
I know most of you will say try this try that… I tried almost everything. People hate me. I hate myself. It’s nonsense for me to live. I hate the fact I have no friends in life. I want real eye to eye communication - and I am the only one who wants it. No one wants to be my friend, because I am awful friend… I am.so tired of trying
It comes in waves
My instability is truly wavy
I guess we are all learning to surf 
You sound very depressed and more as days pass.
I am worried about you.
Does your dr know this?
Do you take an antidepressant med? I do. It helps me with mood. I don’t get so low as I used to. It took a while to find one and for it to kick in (5 weeks on it and I had to try several different ones). But it’s worth it.
I tried to contact her today but she didn’t answered yet.
I also have this idea that vraylar is not helpful for me. Maybe it deepens my depression,
I tried antidepressants in the past, I tried one called Zoloft. It was trully not effective.
Maybe I need to start taking ablify again…
Good job for contacting your dr @anon8411913
Let us know what she recommends.
I truly hope you feel better as soon as possible! I feel very bad for you. I’ve been there before. It’s awful.
I wonder if the vraylar is the culprit or if a different antidepressant could help. Well, I guess your dr will know what to do. I hope she calls right away today. Take good care.
I also been there before…
Pre psychosis period was very, very depressive for me. I truly thought about suicide back then.
Now I feel similarly depressed, but one good thing is I have insight.
I am trying to help myself and I took 5mg of ablify few hours ago, also I took another 5 mg now.
I hope it will clear my mind a bit until she texts me back.
Really thanks for support. Big thanks. 
I think you’re not alright right now. But maybe you’ll feel alright in a couple of weeks/months/years.
Life is a marathon and you’ve only begun.
I think you’re talking very harshly about yourself and part of the healing process will be to recognize your humanity and to look with milder eyes to yourself.
What do you mean by this? I actually feel very disappointed about myself and it feels the opposite. Like, that good things are not going to happen anymore…
That’s very truth. I just got used to negative self talk. I truly need to change that…
I mean life is a marathon opposite to a sprint. Life expectancy for a woman is above 80 here and you’re not even 25 if I’m not mistaken. So there will still be many opportunities to make progress and feel alright.
And even if you don’t feel okay. It’s okay to not feel okay.
This is pretty calm. Maybe it can quite the storm…
This made me feel more normal in some way. Maybe I also catastrophise a situation a bit.
Thanks people! Thanks a lot for supporting.
People tend to look to outside things to be happy, everything they need is within them. You can be successful in life ,I mean adaquate successful to be happy.don’t measure your success with people and material things
Take a few deep breaths now . No need to think anything.
You got to slow down
You think only about negative and bad things, when was last time you felt like you love life?
I am sharing news.
I’ll probably will start antidepressants. My pdoc just replied me.
I am just quite scared the number of meds I need to take. Physically I am healthy as bull, but my head needs tons of meds.
Many times… better not share. Sometimes I can be happy without clear reason, too.
So think about them . No need to share
Hey thank you for supporting @Frenzy