On vraylar for 6 months.
I realised, that it truly helps me in some way.
But I also noticed I am slipping into bigger and bigger depression.
I am quite not sure is this vraylar which causes me to think of suicode everyday, or it’s simply my recent life.
Breakup, my drug addict brother came back from Germany and causes tons of conflicts in my family… maybe it’s just things which are happening makes me depressed. I am not sure.
I read that vraylat can cause depression on the forum.
Here, I mean
Maybe someone has an idea what’s happening with me?
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Weird, vraylar really helps to curb my depression. These drugs really affect us differently.
I’m sorry about you having to deal with your brother. I’d just avoid him as much as I can.
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I feel the antipsychotic makes me more susceptible to depression. Maybe that’s the case 4 many ppl.
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I took 5mg ablify an hour ago, because I really feel… Quite desperate for feeling better.
Actually I feel a bit more calm even after such small dose of ablify.
For me it’s really hard to understand whether it’s vraylar causing me depression or life circumstances… Because I really loved my ex. But well - it should be becoming easier with time. Sadly I feel it’s becoming worse and worse. I really struggle to get over this breakup.
I will took ablify 5 mg for atleast a week to understand whether it really helps me or nah. If I will notice it helps me more than vraylar I will text my pdoc again.
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Strange… Literally strange… I just remember that on ablify I had depression, but way less bad than now.
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Can you get free therapy in your country? I’m doing that to help me. At least hoping they will accept me.
The way I think is not helping the depression. I can finally tell that it is dragging me down, the way I think about some things.
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It’s not necessarily the same with you, but idk, just in case.
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Yeah there’s a possibility to get free therapy in my country.
I really need to take a chance and try therapy again.
I also have this idea to read some self help books for depression.
I also have big problems in my thinking @Zoe , I always think of myself as a problem. I also feel 99% guilty for many things in my life. I need to work on these thoughts…
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If you are accepted for therapy, I would try to prepare for it by noting down as many of your unhelpful thoughts as possible on a sheet of paper as you’re going through your day. It’s what I’m doing atm.
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I hope you feel. Better @anon8411913. X
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Big hugs 
@Zoe
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I take myself thinking about suicide as a mental health issue. There is something wrong medically. When I am helped by medication and experience health I am amazed at what I am able to do. Suicide is something I deal with also. Suicide is not healthy for me in any way. It seems to come to me naturally but in no way is it healthy. Suicide is one of the most unhealthy things I am dealing with right now. I take 7mg Abilify and 150mg Nortryptaline which is a very old tricyclic antidepressant which also helps me sleep. I gained 50lbs of fat from medication but suicide is the most unhealthy thing to me.
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It’s truth. @Dude1
Suicidal thoughts are no joke. Everytime I have a worse day than usual I start thinking about suicide.
I believe in my case it also could be something biological, because it all started ((depression)) accompanied with psychosis. No matter how my life turns out, I still feel down most of the time. And the worse day is, the worse I feel.
Pre psychosis, before first symptoms, I never ever felt suicidal. As a kid I sometimes was sad, but never thought about suicide. Overall I was very energetic, brave and happy as a kiddo.
So my depression is very connected to SZ, psychosis or how to call it.
And I hate it. When my psychosis started it started with all the other problems at the same moment. I mean, : OCD, anxiety, depression, panic attacks ((had them.several times)). Before psychosis I even rarely felt anxious. It’s terrible when numerous illnesses start at the same moment
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I had tremendous willpower before my SZ really hit. Now I also have major depression with it. I have experienced mania but it doesn’t last for more then a day usually. Sometimes my mania lasts for days but I don’t think I have bi polar disorder. For some days I feel I have overcome everything and there is nothing I can’t overcome. Then there are days when I have suicidal feelings and thoughts. I am 54 and still get discouraged but I still am in a position to live out my dreams in life. I also still am in a position to be financially secure for the rest of my life. I also had severe anxiety also.
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On vraylar maybe you are less psychotic but less engaged with the world because you are sedated.
Breaks up and substance abusing family members certainly aren’t helping your depression.
However vraylar might also have a negative impact on your ability to feel motivated towards changing the external environment and effecting positive change.
That said vraylar is keep you sane enough to work on your depression
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I am feeling a bit better two last days. Even though I haven’t started an antidepressant yet. Still haven’t bought it.
My brother went to Germany again like 4 days ago, so I am becoming a bit more relaxed. While he was here I couldn’t even properly sleep because he was intoxicated and very loud during nights.
Overall the fact that he is gone makes me more relaxed. Parents also create less arguments when he is not here.
Also, working on my mindset at the moment. Just trying to stay calm and letting go of some things.
I’ll be alright.
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