I just cant right now (My help thread)

Isolation isnt good but now I dont want to leave the house at all. Every time I go to the store or anything it increases my anxiety. I got the first covid19 vaccine and it made me feel unusually good and made my ears stop ringing. Which is really strange. Does this mean my tinnitus might be inflammation or biological?

I really need to figure things out. I called my insurance and Im trying to get into rehab. I really dont feel great about going but my therapist thinks I need help and that it would be better prob. more effective than the psyche ward. However if that doesn’t work I may go to the local ER and admit myself, I keep relapsing and I feel sick. Yesterday I relapsed again even though I felt fine and happy and I didnt want to use. I was filled with anxiety when I was triggered to use from a text from a phone that wasnt blocked.

The only cure for the anxiety in my mind when I was triggered was to use more drugs, and feel better. Why do I think this way when Im triggered, because the drugs never make me feel better. Im fooling myself. So I do think I need something for depression or to help with my impulse or what is driving me to use the stimulant type drugs and not able to say no.

But I got really sick last night, It was either laced with something or it was my immune system reaction. I feel like I am tasting arsenic or rat poison in my mouth. I thought I was going to die. Its a nasty taste and feeling and it made me think I almost died or gave myself cancer and I feel horrible. I thought my painting changed because I noticed something I hadnt before, so my perceptions have been altered. I feel like the angels who were protecting me all left, like I destroyed them. I feel guilty for all the things I say online and I cant help me. Im mad at myself for being weak and relapsing and dealing with stupid petty existential dilemmas.

I dont want to be a burden I want to uplift people.


I tried rehab 3 times.

getting employed is the only way I can quit.
it’s mainly out of respect for the employer.

good luck. maybe you should have more smoothies.

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Sounds like you do need to go to rehab.

I’ve been.

It’s not bad.

They give you medicine for the withdrawals and it’s like one long therapy session.

You should make some calls and try to get in as soon as possible.

At the very least, go to the ER and make sure what you’ve taken wasn’t laced.


also, your pdoc can prescribe you pills you take to curb cravings.

I’m on them. and it’s not the kind that make you throw up if you do give in to temptation, or have a bad day.


ha, just one more thing.

I’ve been hearing on Facebook that Rona causes tinnitus.
you should have gotten tested
before getting the vax.

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No I have had tinnitus long-term though. I have had the covid19 test 3 times and it was negative so no worries there. It was just weird that it went away. Could have been the coffee or something else entirely or just that I was in a good mood!

I am waiting for a call back from my insurance about finding a good treatment center for the addiction.

My psychiatrist just put me on Prozac. I’m a little scared to start it because of what happened with my mom when she was put on it. Also, not sure if I trust myself to take it regularly and I am not super super depressed. This was a bad idea. Idk if it’ll work right…should’ve just handled the withdrawal from the cocaine. I dont want to give myself serotonin syndrome.

Should I have asked for Prozac? Do you think it will help or make things worse? My psychiatrist said my insurance will approve Prozac but not Vraylar.

ohhh, personally, not Prozac.

I’m on Venlafaxine.

idk, I’ve never tried Prozac, too scared.

glad youre Rona-free.

if you’re on disability and have Medicare and Medicaid,
your rehab will be covered.
but not the fancy country club like places. ha.

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Prozac Reviews & Ratings at it seems to have good reviews for people with schizoaffective of course everyone is different and I’m going to be taking it alongside an anti-psychotic not on its own.

okay. does depression run in your family, you mentioned your mother, what happened to her?
it’s okay if you don’t want to share.

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Yes depression seems to be the major thing running in my fam. my mom is the first fam. member I really know of our gen. on both my parents sides that have schizophrenia. Sometimes I wonder if its her hormones though or menopause. She had post-partum depression before she was labeled with schizophrenia, she was given prozac and became psychotic and hospitalized. She was also a peace activist. Ever since then I have been scared and hated prozac. I dont want to tell her Im going to try taking it but it says it helps with ocd and depression.

It made my mom psychotic and suicidal. I dont know why I had to ask for the Prozac I just want something else to stop the addiction. IDK if it will work against a cocaine addiction or make it worse…and Im depressed majorly because of the withdrawal.

I probably dont even have schizophrenia or depression. I need to get clean. I shouldn’t have asked for Prozac when I really just want to get off all meds.

thanks for sharing. God bless your mom.

I had a little post partum depression too, uncontrollable crying,
it even upset this little Down syndrome girl who came to visit me
with her dad, in the hospital, after giving birth.

Mine went away. I think it was joy over my newborns.

idk if I’d call that mental illness. did your mom use anything, if I can ask.

I have a friend who finally discovered that all of mental illness is addiction.
idk, I remember good health when not using.

no my mom and dad never had issues with addiction. My moms went away too, but she was med-resistant after that and then later had schizophrenia, she hid her symptoms and was in denial for years. She wasn’t just on Prozac though there was another medication he prescribed. Maybe it was just too much for her. Idk, she couldn’t handle it. I guess she has schizophrenia but the thing is she had never treated her psychosis. The only thing my mom ever did was smoke weed, and she quit when she had her children.

I’m not really depressed frequently, just right now. I feel horrible. Rexulti is basically Abilify and an SSRI in one medication. So maybe Abilify and Prozac will work, maybe it will be worth it but not sure…

I don’t like the idea of giving my willpower away to a medication. Even if it is to fix me. Abilify works because I accept it, and it doesn’t take away my willpower. Is it weird one minute I wanted to ask for Risperdal and Now Im asking for Prozac? Am I just feeling guilty and trying to fix something that isnt broken?

on the homepage of this site, there may still be an article on pot use, saying it increases symptoms by a large margin.
but some can, and some can’t, smoke it.
I know I can’t. the paranoia will be out of this world,

and maybe even voices.
I guess like everybody says, trust professional help.
they know what they’re talking about, usually. ha.

I think figuring out your medication issues takes a back seat to this cocaine addiction.

You need to get clean and then worry about the meds.

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