I want to hurt myself, badly, I’m at work I dont recall being this triggered and desperate since I was a teenager. I’m having telepathic messages and thought insertions from clients. I cant hurt myself and I am here for another three hours so hoping I will calm down. I think I’ve been poisoned by the flapjavk I bought earlier triggering me like this. I dont remember being like this. Maybe its because i didn’t have time to adjust this morning and seeing self harm scars and talk is causing it but my mind is visceral I have been sick too.I’m scared I am going to call my nurse tomorrow I think. This cant carry on it may be anxiety about reducing meds as well I dont know what the hell is going on with me.
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I hope you get past this. You seem like a good person.
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call your doc…
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I’m sorry you’re triggered right now. Try to ground yourself. You’ll be ok just take a minute to breathe. Focus on something solid in front of you. Start counting up to 100.
It’s sounds like you’ve been having a rough time lately don’t be afraid to get some assistance. I want you to be safe. Please don’t hurt yourself. Stay safe
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I am at work teaching a course I cant do anything today because I’m here and mum is picking me up. But I’m on verge of panic. I’m going to call my nurse tomorrow and get help. The issue is I want to hurt myself to feel pain but not the after effects I don’t want to explain why, I just feel my head is a black hole. I might call a helpline if it stays this level, I want to go to bed but I’m going to get home and tackle this head on I wont go down easily. I have too much to lose. Thank you for replying I dont know why I am so awful I really dont
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Tell your mom I really am worried about you. Please stay safe!
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Again, with my crappy advice…
Deep breaths.
Picture everyone in the class naked (if they are adults that is).
Or if they are kids, picture them with their fingers up their noses.
Can you get outside for a quick walk around the building? The fresh air may help.
And remember thoughts pass. Just wait/ride it out.
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Firstly, thank you everyone, I got home an hour and a half ago and my mum saw the state I was in and made me take prn and have a nap but I couldn’t stay asleep long but I feel calmer, nowhere near out of the storm yet I still feel really self destructive but she’s problem solved with me and I’m going to call my nurse tomorrow. Today scared me, we had an aggressive Young Man in the class and he scared me I felt threatened and I didn’t feel supported he would just stare at me and I know that he probably has a loss of inhibition I’ve been like that but actually I just projected and I couldn’t stay calm. I kept hearing my abusers voices. I was very triggered, but I heard you guys out and I went and hid in the toilets to calm my breathing, I was retching and shaking by the time I got there, It really hurt trying to hide it too, reminded me of school, at home I can let it out but in front of poeple where I’m meant to be the icon of recovery it was agony and I just got worse, I was hearing all about poisons at lunch and I just snapped in my head.
I am sorry for scaring anyone, I don’t think I will hurt myself now, I appreciate you for being there for me. I just couldn’t hold on, I am exhausted now, having some soup in the minute and then I will do my gratitude diary because I need to change my perspective. I am very sorry.
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I am also thinking I will stop my job teaching courses it pays pittance not enough and I just don’t think its worth the turmoil it puts me through every time I do it. I will finish this course and then will see how I feel but I think I need to change and look after myself now.
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Called nurse i feel really upset now, it was just repeating the same stuff, i needed an action plan or something different, i fear I’m unravelling. Mums making me stop a pill i started taking for asthma, it can cause mood swings in normal people and she wonders what effect it is having on me being the way i am. I’m hoping its that. I feel really scared, and I cant believe this is still happening, i turn 25 next tuesday that’ll be 10 years of hell. I wish they’d kill me already.
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I’m glad to hear that you have settled down.
I agree going to the bathroom for a few deep breaths is helpful. That’s how I got through 10 hour day clinicals, with lots of potty breaks just to breathe.
May I ask which asthma pill can cause mood swings?
Thank you.
i started on Montelukast because i have nasal problems as well as asthma, i take it at night and they couldn’t prescribe me a steroid nasal spray because my blood sugars were up it can make things worse. Its known to cause emotional problems, weird dreams, suicidal behaviours and more, prevalence is not known but i was warned about it. Its a shame because my breathing has been amazing, its an experiment stop taking it five days if i haven’t improved by day 3 then we know its me and not the med.
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Really, Montelukast? I take that too. Its definitely helped my asthma and allergies. Now you’ve got me wondering about my mood swings. I don’t think they are related to the drug with me, rather to birth control pills.
Sorry you can’t take a spray because fluticasone is amaze-balls.
Maybe a sleep apnea machine or treatment might help. Its helping my mom
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